Characteristic Synonyms, Characteristic ... -

The Guide to How I Actually Got a 528

I’m the kid who got the 528. A lot of you asked me to do a write up because of that, but honestly, I’m just happy everything happened this way. If I (of all people) can get a 528, you can totally succeed too. I really want to help you succeed. I spent so much mental energy trying to understand this horrible, horrible test and so I’m really glad my score gives me a platform to pass that knowledge on. Feel free to message me with any questions at all. I’m also a student at BYU Provo I can meet up with you sometime this next year to tutor or talk strategy. Just message me privately.
So we all know this, but let me just preface this by saying that my advice does not hold any more weight than others. Ask your friends. Ask others besides just listening to me. I just happened to get really lucky. On my test day, I guessed on questions. I googled a question right after finishing to find out that I missed it. It’s normal. I’m normal. I just happen to be a statistical outlier. But that being said, I put hundreds of hours studying and trying to understand the MCAT. So, I have some advice. I hope that I clearly differentiate in this write-up between what I happened to do and what I recommend for you all. It blurs a lot, but if I say I recommend something, then I mean it. Take any of my other statements with a grain of salt. I’m not trying to sell you anything, but I want to tell you honestly about what I really believe to be true. I’ll talk about the resources I used, my trajectory in FLE’s, how I tried to simulate the actual test, and my experience on test day. I will also include pro tips like getting the video speed controller chrome extension, the right way to format your window for taking FLEs, and many more nuggets.
Ok you neurotic freaks, let’s get after it.
Starting Out
The first question that you need to ask yourself is: will I use a prep program or will I self-study? To answer this, you need to dig deep. Are you self-motivated? Do you hold yourself accountable? The question isn’t “am I driven?”, but how do I learn best? Most people will say… If you are self-motivated then you should self-study, but this (IMO) isn’t true. This isn’t even a black and white question. I, for one, am self-motivated but I need structure too. So I chose a hybrid method of studying--a prep program that gives you structure but lets you customize through self-study. It was perfect for me. And the best part? It’s completely FREE.
The second and final question that you need to ask yourself is: how much time am I willing to dedicate to this beast? As hundreds of thousands of premeds will tell you, once you start studying, the MCAT will hang over you like a cloud. You’ll guilt trip yourself for not studying when you could be and for not studying while you’ve scheduled time for it. This doesn’t mean that you have to hate your life during the process, but it can and should stretch you as no test has ever done before. So the question remains… How many hours? How many months? For me, I studied 500-600 hours over 5 months. I wouldn’t recommend anything longer than 6 months because let’s be real, you won’t remember what you studied 8 months before. If you are studying during the semester (as I did) plan it out as early as possible to deliberately make that semester as light as possible. You want to do mainly content until you are one month away from the test date, and then the final month should be primarily devoted to taking full-lengths. Whatever you do, I would highly recommend devoting at least 2-3 weeks before the test to do nothing but MCAT. I took 4 weeks of full-time study (50 hours a week). I did 3-4 FLEs each week and the other days I just reviewed what I missed and other weak areas. All those FLEs back to back gives you stamina. The 8-hour test should feel like a 2-hour test by test day. Not a breeze, but it shouldn’t leave you mentally drained. That’s your goal.
Resources Overview If you take one thing from this section, understand that there are only 2 gold standards for the MCAT. AAMC and Khan Academy. AAMC actually paid Khan Academy to make official prep videos for the MCAT, so everything on those videos is fair game. They’re not comprehensive, but they are as close to AAMC material as you will get for content. Everything else (PR, Kaplan, Altius, etc) is great but only supplementary at the end of the day.
Here are the resources that I used in order of importance.
1. MCAT Self Prep
I stumbled upon this program because I go to BYU and one of my friends was a tutor with them. It was an ABSOLUTE GODSEND. Exactly what I needed. MSP combined everything and since I didn’t have thousands of bucks to drop it was perfect. I’m the king of cheap (lol MrK) and I think I only spent $100 on their stuff and got the equivalent of thousands of dollars worth of service. I wouldn’t sing its praises, except I think it’s exactly what us cheapo reddit users are looking for. It’s completely free to do their entire course with because it’s essentially just a website where the creator compiled Youtube playlists of all the Khan Academy videos (and others) on a given subject. I would watch the videos (only the Khan Academy ones) and make Anki flashcards of only terms that I didn’t know (more on that later). There are 12 subjects for each module and 6 modules in total. At the end of the 12 subjects, you will review all of your flashcards and take mini-tests using AAMC material. The mini-tests were incredibly helpful for keeping me updated on my progress without having to take FLEs all the time. MSP uses Quizlets (you can buy thousands of premade cards for a few dozen bucks which I did) but I also made my own Anki cards too. TBH I didn’t love their cards but I used them all and they were helpful. You can also buy an incredible spreadsheet to track your hours, scores and trajectory which costs like $10. I would highly recommend buying this regardless of which program you ultimately choose to do. So.. check it out, mainly because it’s free. You can totally customize your journey - for example, I didn’t do any Ochem review because I was a TA for it but spent more time on P/S. They don’t care about what resources you use, which I liked, and they focused on Khan and AAMC material. Genius. You can subscribe to their unlimited tutoring service on a monthly basis if you want too. I didn’t but then again, I’m a freak.
A word on tutors-- For those of you trying to score 520+, understand that your tutor at a big prep company might have scored lower than you will eventually do. I know that they all seem like gods, but nobody thinks as you do. This doesn’t mean that they can’t help you (don’t get that impression) but the goal is to work smarter and not harder. The last thing you want to be doing is to be mentally checked out in a group session where someone is teaching you a concept that you’ve already mastered. THAT IS WASTING YOUR PRECIOUS TIME. I can’t vouch for a specific program, but you NEED a tutor who scored within the range of your goal score (and if they did better than your goal score that is obviously a huge plus). If a big company that you are looking at forces you to choose from 1, 2, 5, 20 sessions at the start (which IMO they should be flogged and jailed for because nobody knows how much help they need and they’re making soooooo much money off your fears) stick with the lower option. This isn’t for everyone, but I would choose between 10 and 20 hours to maximize the value of those hours. If you’re cheap like me, just use those sessions to ask for their overall strategy tips. Have them teach you to fish, not give you fish. If you have specific problems that you are stuck on, just come to reddit and get answers for free. Bottom line: if you are going to get tutoring help, make sure the company that you choose has tutors that score 99th percentile or more (or ask a friend who you know killed it)
2. Anki
Anki. Another beautiful gift. It’s too complicated to explain over text, but it’s basically like Quizlet except with spaced repetition to put info into your long term memory. Spaced repetition is king for storing large amounts of info learned over a long period of time (cough cough med school) so most med students use it now. Put the time in to learn it now. I would say that this is the way of the future for medical school going forward. You can start some great Youtube tutorials because Anki is hard to figure out at first but the videos helped me a lot. Watch a ton of videos on it. Definitely figure out how to use image occlusion and close deletions. That’s all I used for card types. But here is the list of addons that I ended up using. Customize your keyboard too to go faster. MAKE YOUR OWN CARDS. Don’t ask me for my decks because I won’t give them to you. They are all the terms that I personally didn’t understand. Half of them wouldn’t make sense to you anyway because I did them in a shorthand that only makes sense to ME. Your time is much better spent trying to build your own deck instead of spending a million hours grinding through someone else’s cards.
I, contrary to popular opinion, made multiple decks. A deck for C/P questions that I missed, one for B/B, one for P/S and one for each of the content sections of MCAT Self Prep (Orgo, GenChem, Biochem, Physics, P/S, etc). I gradually merged them into 3 decks (CP, BB, PS) for the final month. I really liked this method. I wouldn’t say everyone should do it, but it made a lot of sense to me because I could practice getting in the C/P mindset and then switch over to the P/S headspace. It wasn’t just one big jumble of facts, but different states of mind. Please, don’t make a deck for CARS. If you want to improve your vocab, just read higher quality writing like the New Yorker or something. Or just do more passages. But trying to memorize big words is silly and I can almost guarantee you that they won’t show up on the actual test. Super low yield. But yeah… Anki is clutch. I did about 16k reviews in total. It sucked but you develop the discipline if you keep it up.
3. AAMC Material and Khan Academy
I cannot recommend strongly enough that you buy all of the AAMC material. You’ll need to if you end up using MCAT Self Prep. It’s worth every penny. MSP integrates it in, but if you don’t use MSP, save your 4 AAMC FLEs until your last month of studying. Take your first three official FLEs 3, 2, and 1 week away. The order doesn’t matter. Then take your last AAMC FLE (one of the scored ones) three days before test day. 2 days before - review it and any flashcards. The day before - rest. Then... it’s game time. AAMC has given us the opportunity to take thousands of prepared, official questions. Make sure you do them all. The FLEs are incredibly close to the actual test. FLE 1 - 521 FLE 2 - 521 FLE 3 - 524 (You can see that I wasn’t scoring 528s. Again, I just got lucky.)
Khan Academy was great (and free!). I got a chrome extension called video speed controller so you can watch them at over 2x speed (I would watch them up to 3.5x speed on subjects I understood well) to save me hundreds of hours. This was YUGE for me. I would make anki cards as I went which was a perfect system for me. They also have great CARS passages but I will talk about them lower down.
4. FLEs
I took a FLE every 3-4 weeks during the content phase and then 3-4 tests per week during the final month of practice. I bought the 10 tests from Altius. They were great because they sucked. They were really hard. Some of the questions were so specific and stupid that nobody would ever get them. But overall it was noticeably harder than the actual thing which is what I needed. It was like training with ankle weights on so when it came to the AAMC FLE’s, I felt very confident. I also took 2 PR FLEs and those were next level impossible. Honestly, they’re not worth your time. Too hard to be helpful. In total, that means I did 16 FLEs. Most of the top scorers will say that doing FLEs is the best way to prepare for the MCAT. I agree. Especially for the month before test day.
Altius FLE range of scores - between 512 and 519 PR scores were 509 and 514
5. Jack Westin
If you don’t already know about our homie JW, look up the Jack Westin website. I used the daily passages and did them as much as I wanted throughout the 5 months of study. They were great because they’re in the MCAT format and show you the percentage of people who get a question right. So that way you know if you missed an easy question (where 90% get it right) or an impossible question (where less than 20% get it right). If you miss questions that less than 30% get right, don’t even worry about it. It was probably just a bad question. JW also has all of the Khan Academy passages in MCAT form which ROCKS. I would say the JW passages are similar in difficulty to the MCAT (maybe a bit harder) and Khan Academy passages are considerably easier than the real deal. But I’d be curious to hear what others think.
6. Books
Honestly the least helpful thing for me. I bought the PR books because they have more detailed info than is normally covered on the MCAT. If you are aiming for the 100th %ile then I would strongly consider buying them because they teach you a lot of the low-yield things to get you over the final hump, but they don’t have many pictures and are dense. Probably a 7/10 in terms of helpfulness for everything but CARS. Their CARS book is COMPLETE TRASH. Terrible suggestions. I was also given the Kaplan books but never used them. I skimmed one and it seemed very unhelpful. I also stopped reading books altogether after about 2 months of study. But hey, some people swear by it. For me, I learned much quicker from Khan Academy videos at 2.5x speed, FLEs and Anki.
If you have the resources, find an Illuminati study group. They will just edit your score to be a 528 which is what I did. If I were you, I would also start making blood sacrifices to the lizard people in your local area as soon as possible. You really want to keep them happy or else they may wear your skin to take the test for you. You don’t want that. Lizard people really suck at CARS.
Simulating the Test
For your diagnostic test (an FLE to see your starting point that people take within your first week or two of studying), you want to just have fun with it. You’re going to bomb it. Don’t worry. Get a feel for the timing. Take longer breaks if you need to. It should be enjoyable. But as you get closer, your objective with practice tests is to try to recreate the environment of the actual test as best as possible. Progressively start stressing yourself out. I would purposefully show up late and in a rush to where I took them. Start telling yourself that your future is riding on this. Take the tests in a quiet environment on a DESKTOP COMPUTER. Pro tip: the dimensions of the screen on the actual exam are not full screen but it’s more squared with blacked-out margins. This throws some people off because the CARS passage seem longer because you have to scroll longer. So start practicing with a squared screen window. As you get closer, start taking the actual allotment of break time. You don’t have to be a Nazi, but get closer as you go. They give you the option of earplugs at the testing center, and so consider buying some to practice if it works for you. You should be experimenting with testing conditions every time. Experiment with what you eat and drink. Experiment with your timing. Experiment with earplugs. Experimentation is your friend.
In this section, I have no hard-and-fast recommendations. This is all just what worked for me. I tried to take harder tests (so not the Next Step tests which people say are closer to AAMC) which was frustrating at times, but that way I could build a bigger Anki deck of missed questions. Especially if you are shooting for 520+, I think taking harder FLEs really helps. For my strategy, I generally tried to find the least-wrong answer instead of the correct answer. The AAMC loves throwing in question and answer stems with one critical word that is not quite right. If the answer stem is perfect but there is one word that is technically wrong, it’s wrong. There are great examples of this, but often the right answer isn’t obviously right, it’s just not wrong.
I was terrible at flagging. It seemed like I would always flag questions that I got right in the first place and not flag the questions that I missed. So when I went back through to review them at the end, more often than not I was changing my right answers and not looking at the questions that I should’ve. Over time, I personally came to mistrust my own flagging and started flagging fewer and fewer questions. When I tried to limit myself to only flagging 4-8 questions that I knew I was shaky on, then the percentage of incorrect questions that I correctly flagged went up.
My only real piece of advice with this is... if you need more time on a question, DO NOT flag it and then come back to it later. You already put over a minute into the question right there, your mind is actively grinding it out, and so don’t break up your mental concentration by coming back to it in 45 minutes. Grind it out until you feel good about your choice, or just give up. If you give up, you can still flag it and come back hoping that your subconscious made some progress in the meantime.
Highlighting is a total preference. I completely switched it up all the time and eventually found out a system that worked for me. Feel free to try it out, but find out what works for you. My only piece of advice that I think everyone and their grandma should do is this: HIGHLIGHT WHENEVER YOU SEE A NOT OR NEGATIVE MODIFIER IN THE QUESTION STEM. They are usually capitalized, but there were so many times that I forgot it was a not question because I spent so much time looking at the answer choices. HIGHLIGHT THEM AND WHEN REVIEWING, REVIEW IF YOU EVER MISSED HIGHLIGHTING A NOT/NEGATIVE MODIFIER. Here is what I did…
CARS: I highlighted nothing. Never. Not even important names or anything. I’ll talk about my strategy for CARS later, but the highlighter just caught my eye and I couldn’t skim the passage when searching for an answer as effectively. I would, however, highlight important words in the question and answer stems to keep my tired brain focused.
C/P, B/B, P/S: I highlighted everything. Well, not the whole passage, but every important word. Every term. Everything that you think they could possibly test you on. In the same way, when you highlight a ton, it doesn’t catch your eye as much when reviewing the passage, but it does help you locate that term faster. I would also highlight anytime it talked about a correlation/causation/feedback loop/relationship. Anything and everything that you think is important. And of course… I would highlight important phrases in the question and answer stems.
I only would use this for answer choices when I was having a harder time eliminating options. I would strike through the worst option first, the next worst option next until I was left with the least worst option.
For me, the whiteboard was YUGE. Especially when looking at relationships in B/B. I would use arrows to show correlation (up arrow) sugar (down arrow) glucagon, and show pathways Protein A → Protein B ---| Receptor X → Disease C. The arrow with the flat end would tell me that protein B is inhibiting receptor X. This way, the whiteboard helped me a bunch for questions on what the effect of a change in a system would be. And of course… it helps to do math. I think the highest yield thing you can do for C/P is get really good at dimensional analysis.
Your goal when taking FLEs is to get your timing down so that it feels like second nature. Feel the rhythm of each section. For me, I tried to finish with 5-10 minutes extra to review in C/P and B/B, no extra time in CARS and I always finished with at least 30 minutes to review in P/S. Just find what works for you
C/P - No special strategy here. But I did really well in physics and TA’ed for gen and ochem so maybe that’s just me. If you can get good at quickly doing dimensional analysis and rounding, this will open up enough time for you. I found myself rushing through the first 20 questions because I was nervous, then getting complacent during the middle 20 and spending too much time thinking things over, and then needing to rush on the last 20 questions. Ochem is very minimal. Mainly just Ochem lab stuff and Ochem in biochem. Gen chem is big. Physics 1 is more important than electricity and magnetism, but it does come up sometimes. Honestly, I felt like half of my actual test in C/P was just more biochem.
CARS - When I started CARS I would always run out of time. EVERY TIME. This originally was because I read in the PR books that you should pre-read the questions before the passage. I would read them, then go back to the passage now pressed for time, had to read faster than I was comfortable with because I was behind, then go BACK to the questions (by this time I had already forgotten them) and then because I read the passage too quickly I would need to go BACK to the passage to find the answer again! This was horrible for me in every way.
Then I heard from my altius friends that you should try to do a passage in X many minutes. They said to spend more time on the questions to really understand them (their tutors even suggested practicing writing their own questions) to be confident in their choices. This is, I believe, the fundamental reason why most people do poorly on CARS. We are taught to spend time combing the questions and answers, going back to the passage to double-check our answers and identify the specific question type/flavosubcategory etc. Trust me, my friends. This will only add to hatred of CARS if you try to psychoanalyze the questions.
Take. Your. Motha. Flippin. Time. Read carefully. If you’re a slow reader, read at your normal pace. If you are a fast reader, you may even need to slow down. For my final FLE’s I would think to myself “woah I am spending too much time reading this passage” but then have a private LOLOLOL moment as I blew through the questions. Try this. It may take a dozen passages to retrain your brain, but I hope it changes your life. The reason being is because every enshrined med student god or test prep money drain will tell you “iT’s aLL aBoUt ThE mAIn IdEA” but it’s really not. Reading slowly helps you digest their subtle arguments. You miss questions right now because the AAMC throws in subtle differences in answer choices. Reading fast will leave you pissed off at the question because AAGAGGAHAHH TWO OF THEM ARE RIGHT!! Reading slow? You will have a good laugh with me when you don’t even need to read the options twice. You’ll be like lol I bet everyone else will fall for that trick answer. Again this isn’t fool proof, but message me in two weeks when your scores start climbing.
I learned this from u/dmonsta and he made a great comment a while back that you will still run into two types of passages #1 - the passage arguement is so dense and complex and uses language from 14th century Finnish thesauruses or #2 - where it is so BORING and you are half asleep reading about the dust on a painting of some Russian architecture in 1672.
u/dmonsta’s advice for #2 is genius. If you are bored to tears... take a 5 second break and let your eyes have a rest. Look at the wall in front of you. Don’t even focus your eyes. Clear your head. These 5 second pauses were huge for me. I would do them every time I ended a passage. Not only would it give me a microbreak, but it allowed myself to let go of all that pointless info that I just learned about Portuguese literature under Napoleon. It didn’t carry over and I would stop worrying about it.
For #1 (the dense and complex), the strategy is to chill out. If you find yourself thinking “wtf does this word/sentence mean?” just chill out. Every premed who has ever read this sentence/word is thinking the same thing. That’s THE POINT. You aren’t supposed to know what it means. Just get any piece of info that any normal person could get from it and move on. Only worry about a hard word if the question specifically asks you for it. If they ask you, that guarantees that a normal person would be able to make a reasonable inference from context to the correct definition. DON’T TRY TO BUILD YOUR VOCAB. THAT’S A WASTE OF TIME. Everyone else will get hung up by these insane sentences, and AAMC actually WANTS you to get stuck too. Move on. I can almost promise you that you won’t be tested on understanding that insanely complex sentence on the actual test (some prep FLEs will but they're just sadistic). Let AAMC get rekt.
For CARS questions. Before you get there, have a rough idea of what is going on. You don’t need to write anything down (I never did for CARS), but have a one-sentence summary floating around. If the passage was too complicated to be summarized in one sentence, that’s fine. It doesn’t work for every passage. You also want to have a good idea of the author. You don’t need to picture in your head what they look like, but that type of thinking goes a long way. Are they a judgmental jerk? Are they a wooey hippy who loves the expression of emotions through bodily dance? Would they vote as a libertarian or a progressive? As we all know, CARS answers are the crappiest in terms of how vague the right answer can be. So you don’t need to form a perfect image of them. Allow some room for ambiguity.
When I first started and would get destroyed by CARS, I would lose confidence in myself and need to go back to the passage for every question to make sure I was right. This blows. It also sucks time away and only adds to your stress. By the end of my studying, I would only go back to the passage for one question each passage. Again, it would mostly be because I was nervous and didn’t trust myself because I would rarely need to change my answer. The most important part is understanding the author. The AAMC rarely asks you about what was in the passage, more like what the author would think if A, B or C happened. Often times you will need to embody the author's views that are totally contradictory to your own. Maybe they love eugenics. Maybe they think it’s awesome that the Nazi’s killed babies. Maybe they’re a republican and you’re a democrat. What they would think about X is the right answer, what you’d think about it will be the wrong answer.
Again as this redditor explains, if you read slow and focus on the author, 90% of questions will be so clear to you. You’ll have a good laugh with us because CARS actually is manageable. CARS is still a piece of crap and deserves to be burned at the stake, but at least it’s not impossible. You should be thinking about the answers like... "no, A is the opposite of what he said, B is irrelevant, C is kinda weird but not necessarily wrong, D is the opposite of what the author said. Must be C" Feel free to comment with more suggestions.
B/B - Whiteboard was king for B/B. In addition to blasting passages with my highlighter, I would also take the time to write down the order of pathways because lets be real here… there are SOOO many abbreviations. Sometimes knowing too much about a subject hurts you here. I am a neuro major and so I could always make the case that it could be option A or C brain area that could be causing the problem etc. But just stick with what they would’ve taught you in BIO 101. Content is also king for B/B. They can ask you about so many topics from so many angles, and so it’s worth just making a trazillion flashcards and going hard. By your last month, don’t focus on memorizing even more intricate details about a topic, but work on synthesizing them all together. How does cortisol relate to insulin or to mitotic division? Stuff like that.
P/S - Again, content, content, content. I actually went too deep into content by the end and would overthink things in the final weeks. I felt like I knew so much about the most random psych terms that I found myself overthinking and opting for more complicated answers too much. So my P/S scores suffered. On the day of the test, I had to actively tell myself to just trust my studying and pick the obvious answer. It worked I guess, but it’s sort of a crap shoot. I would say stick to the KA videos or the pages. I watched all the KA videos twice and that worked great. You can try Uworld and question sets from other companies, but honestly the AAMC question banks are perfect for figuring out the level of detail that you are expected to know.
My Actual Test Day
Either the actual test day is the most stressful moment of your life or you are a legit sociopath. I was FREAKING OUT, PEOPLE. I drove to check out the testing center the day before. Straight up nerves. I tend to have a hard time sleeping, but the MCAT was another experience entirely. I took melatonin to try to get some rest, but for the two nights before I did not sleep. Like I could honestly account for every hour of the night. Not falling asleep just led to me stressing more so it was even harder to fall asleep. Horrible. But it’s ok! Even if you’re tired, it won’t make your mind forget all the content that you learned. For game day, your goal is just to get excited. It’s finally going to be over. Be confident. You put in hundreds of hours. TRUST YOUR STUDIES. If you come to a question and you are unsure, go with your gut. You may have remembered subconsciously. Poop and pee beforehand. Multiple times. It should be totally flushed out down there. Get hyped. When you get to the center, they start checking you in right away. Even if you’re early. Be early. But you don’t have to take a number right away. Wait until you’re ready. They scanned our palms for security which was weird. They offer you earplugs. When you sit down after a break, they start you immediately--even if you still had 2 minutes left of your break. If you run a bit over your break, don’t worry. They give you ~2 minutes to just read the info start screen of each section so your time will only be deducted from that. If you have that time, use it to calm yourself before starting. Don’t rush yourself. Breathe.
Since I got no sleep, I took a ton of caffeine over the course of the test. About 20-50 mg before and during every break. I crashed like a zombie after it was all done, but I never felt sleepy or crashed during the test. A friend, the one and only T-money, suggested that I do push-ups during the break to keep the blood flowing. That rocked. Your breaks are shorter than you remember, but you should eat sometime during every break or else you will crash. When taking FLEs, find out what sustains you best. Don’t eat sugary trash. Eat protein bars and real food. Eat like you would eat if running a marathon, small but consistent so you don’t hit a food coma either. After each section, you want to get in the mental space of feeling relief. You will never have to do that section again. Did the last section not go that well? Don’t let it bleed into the next section. Let it go. You should be getting more and more excited, more and more relaxed as the day progresses. If you feel the opposite, tell yourself to let it go. Let it all go from your head. Your mental appraisal is very important to doing well. In the end, if your computer didn’t malfunction and if you didn’t throw up on yourself, don’t void your test. Even if you don’t feel confident, score it. Don’t spend more than 15 seconds on that page. Let it all go. You did it.
Well, you all are beautiful humans. I spent quite a few hours on this, because it would’ve been exactly what I wanted at the start of all of this. Feel free to share this with anyone else that you know who is struggling with the MCAT. We all have to help each other out because at the end of the day you aren’t competing with anyone. There are tens of thousands of applicants. It’s not ORM vs URM. You are only competing against yourself.
EDIT - If you are interested in having me tutor you one-on-one just PM me
My Trajectory
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Mage Powers (Class Powers 2)

Just did princes, now I'm gonna do mages. Gonna work through all the 12 aspects, starting with Breath and working around the wheel to Hope, just to keep things consistent. Sorry if your particular one is short, but sometimes a class and aspect work too well together and that makes extrapolating difficult because what you should be doing seems too obvious. I try to counterract those biases as much I can, but if I can't you can always add in the comments below. Obviously, I think someone with the specific classpect should have say over me. I mean what do I think I am, OD? I would OD on heroin before I ever compared myself to OD. Alright, I'm going to stop Daveing now. Enjoy your superpowers
Mages know their aspect better than anybody else, and they know when to make sacrifices regarding it. They know when to hold back and when to plow straight ahead, and when things are more nuanced. They know stuff, man. As such, I'm gonna have to pull out all of whatever knowledge I have on each of these topics and go balls to the wall
Mage of Breath
He who sacrifices - freedom for comfort deserves neither. Breath players of this class can shed light on the topics that keep their teammates bound to their undesired fates, including unhealthy dependencies. With their leadership skills as breath players, they could figure out how to speak people's language in getting them to overcome substance abuse, electronics, factors outside their control, or otherwise, and show them what all there is to life. In other words, they know when to sacrifice freedom of action for freedom of choice. By this point the Mage themself knows what all there is to life, and that stress and responsibility shouldn't be feared because you have the power and there's a greater force there with you along the way (Breath and spirit are synonymous, in case anyone didn't know), or other wise you just know there's no reason to get hung up on things in life and that's what drives you forward
Let my people go - Mages generate and spread their aspect around, and the Breath aspect is the most pervasive of the bunch. Their presence could spread throughout the land in spirit and free people from whatever bondage holds them. Forgive me for treating mages purely like saints so far, I'll get into combat abilities in a second
Blood into Breath - the heir of breath might bellyache whenever he doesn't have the freedom to do what he wants, but a mage knows when they have to become trapped to truly be free. As such, they know how to deal with people and when to make commitments that will ultimately benefit whatever lifestyle they desire
Curse magic - ...and as such, they also know when to make the ultimate sacrifice. A mage will be the first to take immediate action if, say, a stipulation on the freedom of the party means selling one's self into slavery. They can use this principle and apply it to themselves whenever they wish. Then, when they make the ultimate sacrifice, they could generate rivers of corruption and blood through the air like wind current, a complete unification of their aspect and its compliment, with the unyielding force of a million typhoons in Jupiter's red spot. The winds of a planet with a density and atmosphere nobody has ever seen, even dreamed of. The art would be like a comprehensive mix of Salvador Dali and Vincent van Goh, a swirling majestic mandlebrot set of cascading, glowing crimson winds and a burgeoning white core where the enemy is being torn to shreds
Like the Heir, the mage is given a choice to sacrifice themselves. The only difference is the Heir sacrifices their aspect while a Mage is sacrificed to their aspect. As a result, an heir ultimately generates more of their aspect, whereas a mage brings about its compliment to "overcome" their aspect. What this means is that the ultimate "contract" they make would probably not be anything like selling themselves into slavery, but quite the opposite. More like a complete dissolving of one's consciousness to the extent that their ultimate self dissolves along with them. It's not a reduction to void, it's just life moving on to make new Life. Breath is kind of a renewal aspect, a refresher. As such I think one who truly experiences Breath will have their consciousness refreshed, or reborn
Mage of Life
Chad energy - sorry, I had to. Not sure how else to say it, these guys know about self improvement and how to not let rough times get you down. They can become one with pain and ENJOY IT, all for the sake of those gains
You can do anything bro, just keep at it bro - Chad can motivate anyone. Fuck, I guess I'm just calling this guy Chad now. Whatever. Chad is the personal trainer you always dreamed of, where somehow their words of encouragement bring out your own inner Chad. You have an inner Chad?! You bet you do! I used to be just like you, you know! You just gotta have confidence. How do you get confidence you say?! Well you gotta appreciate who you are! Love yourself first, or else who are you improving yourself for?! Treat yourself right with the right diet, eat lots of healt--
oh my god I need to stop
Conscious regeneration - you see, here's the thing: Chad has been working out for so long, he fully understands how muscle regeneration works by now, and can even consciously control it. After god tiering, he can apply this same principle to bone, skin, organs, nerves, and whatever else. Eventually they will start regenerating entire limbs back bigger and better than ever, like some sort of lizard or...Thad...
Insane anatomical knowledge - okay, I'm going to go ahead and leave Chad out of this one for obvious reasons. Basically this mage can immediately sense where something's wrong in the body of a plant, animal, person, god, whatever. They can tell with one wince of pain where it's coming from...somehow. and then like a master surgeon they can assemble anything they need to take care of it. And they have powers too so that makes it extra easy
Ultimate sacrifice - this won't be easy for our strapping young Chad, but he knows it's necessary. In order to gain true strength, he must foresake his gains and youth at his peak and give it to his teammates so they can multiply it and he can recieve the ultimate gains: spiritual gains
I'm sorry but can someone like put Chad in a mage of life outfit or something that would be the sickest thing ever
Mage of Light
Study guide - can make any complicated information digestible for the common man, and in kind they can do the same for themselves. Even if Doc Scratch is having one of the most long-winded, ego-centric, thesaurus-bombing monologues to ever grace Paradox Space, they would read it all just as easily as a SparkNotes synopsis without even having to highlight the text
Unfettered focus - the mage of light has a strong comprehension of focus and reality and knows because of that not to rely on it, as it seldom ever goes your way. What this means is they don't fear failure nor to they feel compelled to distract themselves from reality, making inhibiting their focus or lowering their accuracy is completely impossible
Godspeed - since mages not only understand their aspect but understand through their aspect, a high god tier mage of light would be able to perceive and react to events at the speed of light, faster than even their own brains. As a result the mage could start fighting before they realize a fight is even going on
Zero constants - the mage of light knows that all is connected in life and everything is in constant flux, and can utilize life's lack of absolutes to their advantage. Because it's straight-up factual that ideas and materiality are aspects of the same unified structure in Homestuck, the mage can interract with the material world with their ideas, causing events to flow in a certain direction by command of their will. What this will look like for anyone playing with them in a session is that their fortune just keeps on getting better and better as the game goes on as the mage becomes better and stronger and directing the current of fortune
Skaia Ascension - when the mage of light becomes "awakened", they share a consciousness with that of Skaia. As a result they may never want a new universe as their existence is rooted firmly in Sburb, but this opens up possibilities for them that they would not have had otherwise. It's like a tabula rasa new beginning, where they will live out the remainder of their natural existence as an in-game construct, guiding future players and increasing the baseline luck of all future sessions
Mage of Time
Okay this one's fucking cool. I'm starting to get the sense that all time players are
Multitasking - the Mage of time is the best at managing time of any time player, and thus they can focus on multiple different things at once. They can hold someone at gunpoint, send an important plot point back in time, kick a rock down a hill to trigger a future plot twist, and complete their shopping list all at once. Due to thr unique way they experience time, they see time laid out before them all at once in one space, past and future separated by the proximity of that space. Because of this, consolidating multiple items and points of reference connected to completely different points in time into one place doesn't make much of a difference for them. It's how they've been perceiving time their whole life, with the weight of the future constantly bearing down on them
Self-inception - the mage continuously gives rise to themselves in the future to the past, meaning they're constantly saving their own ass and will know exactly when they're gonna die. They're used to it at this point and honestly the only thing that weirds them out about the whole time player schtick is actual time travel itself, because they're used to only dealing with one future self dropping hints the future
Time capsule: every day the mage wakes up and takes something left there for them days/months/years ago when they predicted that day. They will remember every day before living them, if not from the start of their life then from the start of their session
Eternity vision - in times of crisis, the mage will see the future events play out before them like a hall of mirrors, with the present approaching them like a tidal wave, and they have to find out how to prevent it. If they turn around to also view the past, and then themselves in the present, they can stare directly into eternity itself
Ultimate prophet: has already experienced time entirely once through, and it loops right back around to their existence. They are time, but they are one person. As such, they can vaguely remember just about anything a part of their individual experience. Any time they're forced to do something they don't want to, they're like "oh yeah, this part sucks. Damn it" and same thing with good things, they're like "oh fuck yeah this is the part where I get to dick around in the dream bubbles for 3000 years until my next reincarnation. See ya losers later". Not quite sollux yet, but we're getting there
I dunno, uh - they sacrifice all their memories, and in return they inherit the future? Interpret that however you wish, I would like to leave this particular classpect more open ended
Mage of Heart
Catching a bit of a break here with a canon mage
Matchmaking - shipping but in real life
And that's all the break I can really hope for
Reduction in bias - the mage knows themself so well, they've learned to pick up on when they're being unfair with handling information. It's like an alarm goes off in their head that says "hey, you're playing favorites". Because of this their sense of self remains about as clear and undivided as a sense of self can be, and because of that they hardly ever splinter and add to their ultimate self
"Undivided as they can be" - that being said, this mage knows better than anyone else that there is no such thing as an undivided sense of self. In fact, the whole idea of a sense of self is based in the idea that you're separate from the world around you, when in fact the world around you shapes you just as much as your world within. As such, at times the mage of heart may speak in terms that seem incomprehensible and paradoxical, as they are both aware of and accept the fact that oftentimes they carry two diametrically opposing views on the same issue, and this doesn't perturb them at all. It's simply that there's an order to things in life, an ebb and flow, and if you just let yourself be part of that instead of trying to overcome that, you're going to form a much more comprehensible internal identity even if it makes no sense to anyone else
Master of both worlds - what this ends up looking like is that the mage of heart has full access to their own potential as a person. Unfettered by matters of internal conflict, they know exactly what works for them and what doesn't. They know when to set aside their beliefs and when to adhere to them, a time to live and a time to die. They know that they don't end with themselves, so they have no problems throwing themselves under the bus for the greater good. It's entirely possible that this is what led meulin to believing in clown stuff - she needed to in order to facilitate the existence of Lord English, so she surrendered her will willingly to that path
Drop in the ocean - we can't forget one of the biggest major recurring themes with heart players: they're usually in love. But with a mage of heart, they've probably been around the block enough times to know that standard romance isn't gonna cut it for them, if we're to use Meu x Kur as our baseline point of reference for how mage of heart relationships technically go. No, I think they're destined for something greater, a higher power to become enraptured by. When expressed unhealthily, you start worshipping clown gods, but with a good and clear conscience that sort of drive would probably express itself more in the love of reality unfolding moment by moment. Since mages often lust after their complimentary aspect, they would probably express a love for the world around them to the extent that it wraps back around to them...if that makes any sense. Just, you know, more zen shit
Ego death - the mage has stopped self-identifying entirely. Heart and mind are one, and like an unbroken circuit their consciousness flows around them and through them but doesn't necessarily attach itself to them. Because of this killing them is very hard, as they possess the unique ability to...possess. they can literally reform themselves with new matter in a separate location from their main body, as they no longer have any attachment to that one body. They and the world are one
This may seem like a breath ability, but that's just because most of these will have that element to them. The way I see it, Mage is the Blood class, and thus their goal is always to become unbound by their aspect via suffering through it. The conclusion of blood is breath and vice versa, so that's what you're gonna see a lot of here
True ego death - like the idea with time players, the mage burns off all sense of definition and materiality relating to their existence, destroying their own mind and reducing themselves down to pureness of spirit as their own version of a sacrifice. We call this point in spirituality the "dissolution of the ego" - the post-enlightenment dissolving of the self into the divine whatever. They would be writing themselves out of the story to escape the canonicity of their identity and truly be free. What this means though is for a certain amount of time, they will begin to identify with everything and channel the power of the "over soul" of the universe to attack. Yeah, you might want to dodge that attack if you ever fight them
Mage of Rage
The amygdala is a strange and wonderful place - fear, anxiety, anger, but also...lust. Think of how Terezi was somehow able to date Gamzee without constantly vomiting. No matter how gross and crude, Rage players are somehow alluring to people, and the mage understands and knows how to utilize this better than anyone. Let's call this ability SEDUCE. Remember to use it during Rev's Town of Nowhere streams on Noah
Reality's a bitch - their bitch, to be precise. The mage of rage yearns for hope but in their quest for that they've become very adept and resourceful to work through whatever cruddy situation(s) got them classpected as a rage player to begin with. They are intimate with reality right down to the laws of physics, and you know they're reaching the top of Jacob's ladder EVERY time, cause they aren't letting anything stop them from reaching the heavens
Zero-point focus - on the flipside of standard mindfulness meditation where you spread your focus on the world around you, you have concentration meditation where you zero in on one point and don't allow yourself to drift away. These guys can cut daggers into you for hours as they zero in on your face, thinking about nothing but how much they want to beat you up. In a screwed up sort of way, this is how they find their zen since it makes them feel motivated, fired up and moving in a single, determined direction
Oh, you know they get off to it, let's not mince words here. Mages typically have the vibe of a mature teacher who's overcome the follies of life, and while the rage player definitely has that, they like to have fun. Red or black, I bet you they're into bdsm. It's a very spiritual experience for them though, cause I mean's hard to explain. So like there's this guy my friend once met at a bdsm club who liked being crucified, and he believes Jesus got him into the hobby when he appeared to him one time? Like no joke he claims to have seen a vision where Jesus was like "see that cross over there? Turns out it's actually really fun, you should try it." Yeah...that guy is a Mage of Rage alright. Asceticism could work, but I feel like that word doesn't have a broad enough definition for what all the mage of rage could experience. They show and receive love through pain, and you know what? Nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you have a safe word
I'm sorry, was that all my explanation for zero-point focus? Man no wonder it's been two days already since I started writing this. I'm not just Daveing at this point, I'm Dirking with my colossal inability to shut up
Important point is: Zero-point focus gives you unrivaled combat abilities. Like ultra instinct, as Rage powers are based in the survival instinct they say UI is connected to in Dragon Ball Super. You turn into Shaggy when you use this to it's greatest extent, no joke
Reality is a FINE bitch - a mage of rage will eventually come to surrender to reality as they will come to realize that through pain and limitations, anything is possible. They will see reality from the perspective of the reality that created it, and see that everything is constantly in order. Their fear and uncertainty will dissolve as they realize that nothing has ever been certain. They have no reason to be mad because there's never a reason not to be mad. Nothing will ever go your way even if things line up so that it looks that way, everything is simply following reality including you. It is a gift to even be able to exist in that world
Pure of heart and awoken by fury - when the mage hits their breaking point, they will completely surrender to reality to get things done, and that means they go super saiyan. They can't worry about what's realistic and what's not anymore, they just have to do whatever needs to get done in order to stop whatever madness brought them to resorting to using this ability
What you probably won't realize at the time of using this ability because you're so focused on helping your friends, beating some bad guy, or whatever the heck it is, is that the only reason your mind is so undivided in this case is that this is a rare instance where reality actually agrees with you. You're a mage of rage, your will has no identity separate from reality, you can't possibly act against it no matter how hard you try. You were built by reality to care about the things you do, and when you realize that nothing simply doesn't matter and reality isn't empty and meaningless, that is when you will find your peace of mind as the Mage of Rage
Mage of Blood
Super Empath: a trait sort of shared by their heart counterparts? The only difference is, heart players know how to bring out the potential in people whereas blood players know how to work people through the issues that they're already going through. They can get you through the here and now, tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear like a heart player. A heart player gets you, but a blood player gets you
Easygoing - yeah, actually. Even though these people are total workaholics and constantly engaged in the real world and managing people, they're completely comfortable with it and find their lifestyle very rewarding. You know, like an anime girl with 20 siblings or something. You know what I'm talking about
Volunteer at a homeless shelter - I--I'm sorry, aren't these supposed to be superpowers?! I mean, these are all supposed to be abilities of someone fluent in being earth-bound (or home-stuck, heheh), so it makes sense that they would be more limited and realistic, but...??? Come on, we can do better than this
SUPER homeless shelter - this mage is so good at allocating people and resources, they can create entire self-sustaining homeless communities that are capable of supporting each other by factoring in their individual abilities. Eventually you have a community of entrepreneurs who can actually work for a living, and anyone who isn't homeless because they have no social security number can start really providing for those who could never work because of situations like that. This mage can turn dozens of complete strangers into family with the power of blood, this human emotion you call friendship
Power of Friendship - can't do what the heir of blood can do and call out into the soul lf an omega death god for their friends or pull the right card in a children's card game tournament if their friends believe in them, but I'll do heirs next. The mage of blood can instead use the power of friendship in a more literal way, and form the ultimate party teamwork with every in-game exploit utilized and magnified to its utmost potential through combined effort. They are the wise chief who tells the two quarreling young boys to first break a stick on its own, then gather tons more sticks, bundle them together, and then try to do the same. Alone we are human, together we are gods
I FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS shit, wait, no, that's the heir of blood again. I keep confusing those two
MY FRIENDS FIGHT FOR ME - unlike the heir who will come into their own when they're able to channel all of their friends' abilities through their own body, a Mage will instead sacrifice themselves in order to give their power to their allies. This could, in theory, allow them to perform fusions and become one solitary fighter composed of multiple individuals. Similar effect to the heir of blood, it's just active fusing vs passive channeling
Mage of Doom
FIINALLY, iit2 our BOY. you know exactly what iim goiing two do wiith thi2 one
Stealth Chad energy - there's no avoiding this after my life player analysis. No way no how. How do we even describe this? He's just cool as fuck. A hacker with a powerful no-nonsense attitude and a chill that not even Karkat can overpower with his big words. I guess what I'm trying to say is that sollux is 100%, purebred, tried-and-true gamer material. Absolute gaming legend, I tell you
Multiple lives - I don't think this is a gemini or a goldblood thing, I think every mage of Doom has a few spares to burn up. They'll need 'em
Voices of the imminently deceased - can hear death before it happens, yes yes, the voiice2, we all know this
Meteor pushing - okay, yes, we get it, this is a canon classpect. What about god tiers and people who aren't psiionics though?
Fate reassignment - the Mage of Doom can tap into the forces of punishment, destruction, and undoing and redirect all of that negative energy towards them. They've been haunted by the idea of Doom their whole lives, so being completely torn apart by it is quite liberating for them. They can finally face all of their worst fears head-on and overcome them, even if overcoming them means being completely defeated. So yeah, they die for your sins, and theirs too. after that, their existence sh0uld be pretty chill
Heaven - as a Mage of Doom, you will come to experience all the negative karma you've built up, meaning you will be the first to move past it and escape karmic misfortune. Chances are that means you will become irrelevant, but you'll have a sweet life anyway.
Mage of Void
Elmo is already here - you can just randomly guess things about future events without even meaning to. You just come up with predictions completely out of nowhere
Karmic disattachment - the mage is usually all but completely uninvolved in the affairs of the plot, remaining unaffected by important events so that factors outside of people's scope of influence continue to be perpetuated. So say John does the retcon, right? Kinda like how Roxy survived the retcon by hugging John, a mage of void simply wouldn't notice it happen, and remain unaffected because of it
Ultimate Void - whenever a mage of void experiences an event, that event is solidified. The only experience they can ever have is that of canon because they aren't caught up in uncertainty, they just are. Paradoxically, their existence is more solidly defined because they don't deny the uncertainty that is, and because of that if a mage of void were to walk near Ultimate!Dirk nearly all of his splinters would disappear except the ones that coexist in the same timeline. The certainty of the mage's existence would override the uncertainty of Dirk's, if that makes sense
Inscrutable wisdom: a mage of void talks in paradoxes because they speak without initiative or bias, they just say whatever comes first intuitively. Because of this they end up speaking in riddles and paradoxes, they understand the logic they're speaking by just fine though. And, ultimately, you will find that they're somehow right
Potential energy canon - the Mage can merge all potential energy from all possible timelines into one place of certainty for an all-out attack. The consolidation of their focus into one place though throws that focus off of themselves, and what that leads to is a complete dissipation of ego. They can perceive themselves in all dimensions, timelines, and canons as an outside observer. They have achieved a level beyond even Ultimate Self: Ultimate No-Self
Mage of Space
Cataloging - you know where everything is at all times, because your mind is a magical bank full of neatly sorted directories of everything in your existence. You always know if someone stole something or if there's something canonically out of place. You will probably be put in charge of reorganizing causality in some way, like cleaning up any loose ends caused by time travel or retcon junk
4th dimensional vision - similar to the mage of time, but not quite. They see time as the fabric of space that shifts around and is connected to multiple different things. They see what plot points are connected, but not how or why. So a lot of being this mage is just waiting around and seeing what happens
FTL travel - they understand space so well they can basically reach out and touch it, and because of this they figure out how to travel via tesseract pretty easily
Path of least resistance - since space players can see how things are connected like that, they always know where to go to make the most out of the energy they use. They fully understand the passive side of the wheel and thus should actually be able to practically apply stuff like aikido
Omnipresence - become one with the universe, and for a short while while you still have your identity, use the universe to kick some ass. I dunno, I'm kind of blanking on this one. Maybe you could exhile yourself with the villain, like the fourth hokage or something?
Mage of Mind
Knows all potential outcomes of their session before they even begin - will probably speak of it in riddles, like "should the heir choose to buy the rumpled hat, he'll truly learn what it means to pass gas (???)"
Look man, Terezi is the only metric we have for discerning mind player personalities at this point, so I can't be held accountable for the kind of things they say
Risk Radar - has a perfectly tuned gut, basically. If their gut says don't do it, DON'T DO IT
Point and click magic - you know how you can't progress in point and click adventure games until you have everything you need for the plot later? Yeah, this mage is that. They somehow always know everything they need to take along even if they don't know why, but they know when they reach that point they'll know. They're just always prepared, man
Perfect read - their opponents actions are so obvious to them that it's almost as if they're constantly being narrated to them. "I'm about to throw a jab-cross! Now left hook!" And it's all timed well in advance. Very similar to the rage ultra instinct, but more active and less passive
Plea Bargain - the mage negotiates with the law of karma itself to get the bad guys punished more and their friends punished less, in exchange for their mortal coil. They're probably in a robot or something, connecting via ultimate self to the laws of reality. Ultimately they will probably be happier in whatever form they take, and take on a role of mandating reality for the rest of their lives
Mage of Hope
At long last, this list took me way too long. Mages are so counterintuitive, heirs are gonna be so much easier
Enjoys challenge - a downside for this mage, as they experience so much hope to the degree that it's crippling or boring for them. They will often give themselves handicaps only to succeed anyway, and were probably encouraged not to succeed once upon a time cause someone was asshurt that they kept beating them at everything
Prodigal son - probably takes things for granted because of this, and eventually they lose everything due to their carelessness. After this, they learn not to take anything for granted
Grace - can give any session a second chance, no matter what the failure condition they can erase it. They were probably given hope in times of darkness and now they have the power to give that to their session. They can also just generally relieve people of karmic debt through the power of faith and love
Can literally do anything - the mage understands hope better than anyone, meaning they understand the power to do anything better than anyone. They also when not to use it too, they are responsible omnipotent dudes
By faith alone - the mage will stop eating, drinking, and taking care of themselves so they can become fully enraptured by Hope--let them. This will kill them, but the fact that it happened means that that path is open for anything that results from your session, meaning the new universe will be filled with hope
Ay geeze that was a long one. As I said before, heirs next after I give my brain a rest. This one was probably the hardest one I'll do, bards and pages will probably be easiest so I'll save those for last. Seers or witches will probably be second hardest after this one, so I'm thinking of doing one of those after heir and then after that I'll see
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KS: Emi

8/6/19 Update

Notes Phase
Assembly Phase
Cut/consolidate Phase
5.6k words

…and this is my frank and unfiltered review of Emi’s path, from the Visual Novel: Katawa Shoujo.
Yeah! Matty’s on the Emi path!
So, I did Hanako,
{Best Girl}
[Hanako: Phrasing!]

And my plan was to do Rin’s next
{Best Girl}
[Hanako: Phra…]
[Rin: *shrug* I’m strangely ok with this.]

but everyone raves about Emi, so for quite a while I struggled with which shoujo I should pursue this round.
Rin or Emi.
Even going into this play-through, I wasn’t 100% sure who I was going for.

Now, you know when I restart a game to do a new route, I still play from the very beginning.
Sure, as a follow-on play-through I’ll skip stuff that doesn’t pertain to the path,
but I enjoy re-experiencing the Act One,
and getting psychologically settled into the mood, and setting of the character and game.
Well, KS has A LOT of Shizune / Misha at the start of the game, and I found myself NOT burning through those scenes - and I realized… I really want to do
[Shizune: …!]
{Best Girl}
[Misha: *wink*]

So, now I’m totally up in the air between Rin, Emi, and Shizune!!
{Best Girl}{Best Girl}{Best Girl}
Saving you for last Lilly!
{Best Girl}
And you know what?
That was great!
Because it meant that KS had AGAIN sucked me into its world, before I even got out of Act 1 or dedicated to a path.

At the very last moment, I went for Emi
for 2 reasons…
  1. I had to find out what the hell the reference to “lemons” was all about!! , and
  2. Those damn soul melting puppy-dog eyes, which seriously bore into my psyche.
I mean if I didn’t choose Emi, she might pout – and we simply can’t have that!
[Kenji: Dude…]

So I’m through Act 1 and enjoying being awash in the super perky positive vibes I’m getting from Emi,
and the chemistry of Hisao & Emi; Hisao & Emi & the Nurse; & Rin…
and I’m completely relaxed.
I was digging this route really early on and that made me a very happy camper.
It was gonna treat me well.
Or maybe that's what it wants me to think!
Get me all relaxed and swoony then POW – right in the kisser.
[Kenji: Now yer getting it!]

OK, I may have some issues.
But the innocuous setting, flirty and teasey interactions, and character dynamic was just what I needed!
>>This video has spoilers. Go play Katawa Shoujo’s Emi route before watching.

3. Two different Emi(s)
I guess I was expecting a spunky, sincere, giggly, carefree, cute girl who would charm my socks off
[Emi: “Get you socks off!”]

But that’s just her candy outer coating.
Holy crap.

Alright… so I walked in Hisao’s shoes about 5 total play-throughs on the Hanako path.
And chasing that little purple, pink, and red bunny all over campus, the town, and the city…
it really left me woefully ill prepared for the energy and antagonistically cheerful whirlwind that is Emi.
I was off guard and very much outmatched by this little vixen.

Meeting her is quite the blunt introduction.
It happens when we run into Emi in the school hallway.
Actually, she runs into us.
Well… runs us over to be frank.
Which is truly a terrific metaphor to how I felt throughout much of the route.
As dealing with Emi often felt like being hit by a truck.
And then the truck goes around the block so it can run ya over again - with a giggle and a smile, and a pout if you try to get out of the road...
which of course no one does.

I thought Shizune had a Machiavellian / scheming streak in her.
But, boy oh boy,
The level of manipulation, charm, and overwhelming energy of Hurricane Emi
…wait wrong part of the globe
Typhoon Emi!
Yeah, whoosh!

Emi is adorable in her faux innocent, dauntless drive, and explicit feistiness that I can’t figure out how to raise arguments against.
And she’s a bit cold-blooded.
To our face!
She is the devil
And the nurse is her evil minion.
But seriously, she's the devil.
[hail satan!]

No Emi, you would be the perfect spy, because no one would ever see it coming!
Yeah, you’re cute – no doubt.
And you wield that cute as a weapon, don’t cha?!
Turn it on and off at a whim!
[Emi: Pout in 3… 2… 1…]
{mumble} Works, totally… melt…
[Kenji: I TOLD YOU!!]

On the track: Emi is no-nonsense and determined, not just about pushing herself, but ALSO about pushing us.
Off the track: Emi is more lighthearted and silly, and also determined.

Tenacious and dogmatic as a shield to hide...
[Misha: “…?”]
Oh, sorry Misha,
Plucky and gritty.
I need to get you a thesaurus.
[Misha: I have a thesaurus but it’s bad. Not only is it terrible, but it’s also terrible]

At first, everything we do with Emi seems like it comes out of making a deal, or us kowtowing to her persistence.
Then followed by unsteadiness towards our acquiescing to do whatever we've agreed to do with this little drill sergeant.
- Run with her in the mornings,
- Have lunch,
- The festival
- Go to the track meet
…not that any of these things are terrible
, just the opposite;
We’re quite happy to do them - with her - but it’s the way she adroitly (and on-the-fly) goads, guilt’s, and charms to get us to do them, (when she prob could just ask and we'd say yes), that makes the character so rich and nuanced.
[Emi: but where's the fun in that?]

4. Gossip
So, during Waylay, I’ve always felt that the nurse comes on way too strong when he pulls us aside and tells us how serious it is that we exercise, and then sends us to the track to meet with his “spy”.
But Emi’s level of enthusiasm and influence on us from the start, actually matched the Nurse’s passion and insistence in Waylay.
So humor me for a minute…
Did Emi run into us in the hall and afterwards think:
“Hey that guy's kind of cute”,
then meet with the nurse like she regularly does, ask about the new guy, and the two of them conspire to
(1) get us to work out (win for the nurse) and
(2) Emi gets to spend time with the cute guy (win for Emi).
I don’t think she’d blatantly tell the nurse her interest, but he reads her well enough that he’d pick up on any tacit inference from her. Hence, the Nurse hunting us down, and insistence we go to the track.
It is significant that Emi only started the morning runs since she roped us into doing them with her.
Then there’s lunch, and wanting us at the track meet to watch her…
And then suddenly everyone at Yamaku seems to know about us and Emi - as a couple - even before WE know we’re a couple! How the hell does that happen?
[Kenji: Emi probably told Rin she likes you
or maybe Rin just noticed it
she's actually pretty perceptive even though she's a giant flake
and then Rin probably said something to - wait who the hell does Rin talk to –
probably her Art Club
yeah I could see her connecting you two to some artsy abstract something and dropping it as a passing remark
then you know how girls are they all talk
and Misha signs everything that everybody says around her so that’s how she and Shizune found out
probably eavesdropping in the cafeteria
someone from the art club or track club
loose lips sink ships
then somebody had to tell Lily that was probably Hanako
after Misha confronted you in class about a rendezvous on the roof with 2 girls
are you insane outnumbered and cornered
or Yukko told Lilly
they're talking about you man
The nurse and Emi
girl talk
even though the nurse is a guy
it's girl talk with a guy and a girl
and don’t even ask how I found out
besides how does the nurse know you gave your jacket to Emi
he left early from the track meet
and so did Emi’s mom now that I think about it
why is the nurse having dinner at Emi’s Moms?
gimmie 500 yen would ya pal?]
Kenji… Kenji… take a breath… throw a comma in there man…
Uhhh… wow. That’s a lot to unpack.
…and, hua.
You may have a point buried in there though, especially as most of this goes on before we’re even in a relationship with Emi.
Many of the things the nurse says hint towards this as well – he is terrible at keeping secrets, we find out from him that Emi lost her legs in a car accident.
Wait, this is complete conspiracy machinations…
Isn’t it?
[Kenji: Nurse is bangin’ Emi’s mom.]
F-me, I’m buying into Kenji conspiracy theories.

5. Stubbornness gets her sick
Still… Emi is masterfully devious.
And quite complex despite the carefree persona she portrays.
Portrays being pivotal.
And periodically we get to look beneath the veil and get more insight into our Emi.

The scene where we wander down to the track… I wondered why we question her about hanging out with Rin.
The answer that they're both extremists in they have that in common makes a lot of sense.
And the poetic ‘painter with no arms, friends with a runner who has no legs’ as companions, is wonderful in its conception.
But I don't think that's why Emi hangs out with Rin.
But let me get to that in a moment…

For now we know that Emi’s unabashed obstinacy gets her in trouble.
Like at the park 1.0 scene, the “picnic in the rain”,
that stubbornness of hers...

6. Check on her – pillow fight – asleep in our arms
So when Emi doesn’t show up for our morning run the next day….
This moment actually got me reeeeeely nervous.
Hisao did the run.
I think I would have gone to look for her.
Seriously Hisao.
Do not make me get Kenji’s sock puppets for this.
Emi. Is. Not. At. Morning. Run.
What if something terrible...
a broken leg-blade on the stairs - or worse…
And, she was limping last night.
I mean why the hell would EMI NOT SHOW UP FOR A RUN???

And then turns out she’s just caught a cold.
And in retrospect, it totally makes sense she didn’t call or text that she wasn’t coming to run,
we might not have shown up!

But seriously, total missed opportunity here Hisao.
But that’s OK, not sure what I’d do with all my pent up angst if I wasn’t getting pissed off at ya every few scenes, right?
>>SP: Ya dope.

[Matty’s Alt Universe]
See my way – going to find out where the hell is she, and finding her sick in her room – you could have taken care of her, like in so many awesome VN scenes!
Blown off classes. Gone into town and gotten her soup.
Or even gone casual: gone to classes and then brought her cafeteria soup at lunchtime is hero stuff.
[Shiz: “…!”]
Yeah I know, ‘story pacing’ I get it.

Either way we’re falling for her right?
I mean, how could we not?
She’s fun, driven, takes a deep and positive interest in us and our wellbeing - giving us the direction that we didn’t realize we needed. The outlet to a more healthy and positive future. Yeah, and she is sexy-cute-to-boot!
Plus we’ve basically been holding hands with her the whole time we’ve know her!
She grabs us and dragging us along with her everywhere:
- The track
- After running to go to the nurse
- To get art supplies
- To get more art supplies
- Around the festival

But I must admit Hisao’s doubt here is nicely written.
Especially after Yuuko drops the bomb with “Is this a different guy” comment at the Shanghai!
[Kenji: The Shanghai???
Are you insane!!??
Don’t go to the Shanghai, that’s their stronghold!
Jesus Christ in a sidecar, dude…
Where are my sock puppets?]

Really smooth Yuuko!
Actually, that was a really great moment.
Quite sphincter tightening with the whole “not sure if we should ask her out”, punctuated by:
(1) What’s the deal with Emi and the Track Captain?, and
(2) we have no idea how she feels about us.
The way the story was able to capture the reality of the characters as people, and the convincing misalignments in their relationship, often tied me up in knots inside, but I’ll touch on that in a moment.

7. Kisses on the roof
So, Hisao bounces around like a pachinko ball on the whole situation,
but fortunately, Emi comes to the rescue on the school roof when she tells us that we had better kiss her.
Yes mam! What an awesome thing to be told.
Just wonderful.
Emi wants something, Emi get it.
And at this moment, what Emi wants is us.

8. First date (picnic) she stumbles
The picnic 2.0 is great. Emi is the ball of wonderful that we find so attractive and alluring. It’s fun, funny, passionate, and there’s a spunky short girl who likes kissing. What’s not to like?!
But on the way back we realize that she’s limping.
Emi is limping.
And here the game ground to a halt for me.
Because I’m totally stuck on this freakin’ choice:
[Let it rest]
[Press Emi]

Visual Novel choices often seem innocuous and mild, but are often radical course corrections to the story (except when they aren’t).
I’ve learned this the hard way.

So knowing this, and also knowing that I haven’t totally broken the code on the best way to manage Emi yet, I’m stymied at what the choice here will do to us.
My Spidey-sense tells me that this one could make or break us…
Endear us and solidify our connection,
or blow-up the fledgling relationship and sever the bond.
[Let it rest]
[Press Emi]

• The Nurse tells us that she was determined to walk again after her accident – and made it happen (in record time, hindered only by medical staff making her slow down).
• She quickly decided that we were going to be her morning run partner – and then she made it happen.
• She decided that we were going to be healthier – and made it happen.
• She (seemingly) quickly decided that we were going to be boyfriend/girlfriend – and then she made it happen.
• She does not like being told what she can / cannot do.
• She does not let anything: Pain, Weather, People - get in her way when she sets her mind to something.
So one extreme to pressing the issue may cause it to get between us and her self-medication through running.
and I’d wager that if it was a choice between us or running,
We’d lose out to her abusive lover - the track.

On the other hand, Emi is someone that we’ve become friends with –
**prob our only real “friend” at school**
other than maybe Rin.
[Rin: Hua? Sorry, I was thinking about lemonade…]
Everyone else is really an acquaintance at best.
THAT is enough to press the issue: as a friend, we owe it to Emi to not let her get away with bullshit.

But moreover, we really like her a lot.
And what kind of boyfriend would we be to ignore our girlfriend’s pain?
We may be powerless to get her to change course, but if we can get her to dial it back even a little – isn’t that worth it?
It’s your own fault Emi, this was your idea.

See - in real life “letting it rest” would be OK,
because we could re-evaluate at any time,
watch her,
and press it at any time.
Or, we could recruit the nurse to intervene – he was there when they held her back so she didn’t get hurt when learning to walk after the accident.
It could be "letting it rest... for now"!
But this isn’t RL…
This is a VN…
And there’s a great chance that this choice will have serious immediate
or much later influence on the events.
[Be a coward]
[Be a dick]

As a VN, this may be the only chance we ever get…
>>damn you Visual Novels.
Ug… this choice!

And Emi’s there on the screen.
Looking at me with those big green eyes, and that sideways smirk.
Willing me to make the RIGHT decision.
For her.
For us.
Shit. ​
Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit. ​​
this is why I drink... and make videos.
It’s cheaper than therapy.
[Shiz/Mish: You should ask]
[Lilly: Discretion may be advisable]
[Mutou: A scientist looks for answers – at the source… or elsewhere!]
[Nurse: Do it, then wrestle a bee-hive. Likely the same results.]
[Yuuko: I... uh... oh, no…]
[Rin: (shrug)]
[Aoi: Don’t look at me, I didn’t get a path]
>>[M4j0r Byte: Matty, Hanako just called. She said stop being a spectacular pussy and pick one. Her words not mine.]
>>Matty: That doesn’t sound like something Hanako would sa…
>>[M4j0r Byte: NOW YOU WUSS. Her words.]

Oh, and by the way I found out later that the choice is meaningless and has no effect on the story.
Damn you Visual Novels!!
I spent a whole day agonizing over this!
>>[M4j0r Byte: Fix your skirt. Her words.]
But you know what?
THAT is testament to how I know it’s a great story.
If I didn’t care about it, the decision would have been easy, right?

9. Morning run, she falls (and pushes us away)
Run – fall – Push
Wheelchair (again) & hanky panky
Emi and Hisao ARE incredibly similar the way they are ruled by their pride to the magnitude of hubris! The whole path is a wonderfully well written examination of the contrasts and parallels between the 2 of them – and there are many more parallels than contrasts!
So let’s break it down.:
- not wanting to be a bother to others,
- not wanting anyone to know the fear and pain…
- wanting to ignore the past…
Quick quiz, who would you attribute these lines to:
- It was just a reflex, to push it away, to keep it inside
- I’d rather not have anyone concerned about my condition
- I’m a little ashamed at my own weakness
If you answered Hisao, you’re correct.
[And technically correct is the best kind of correct]
Technically, they are Hisao’s lines in game – but remarkable that they could easily be Emi’s, right?
And full disclosure, my own as well.

Both Hisao and Emi hide their pain.
Neither want others to know or be burdened by what they are feeling regarding their limitations.
And they also put full effort into trying to improve the life of the other. Emi successfully forcing Hisao to exercise and eat healthy – Hisao trying to get Emi to tear down that walls she’s built around herself.

Hisao’s arrogance tears up his heart a few times.
Emi’s vanity killed at least one previous relationship keeping that person at arm’s length, because she doesn’t consider, or doesn’t care about these consequences. And her blithe rigid stubbornness ends her up in a wheelchair again!

Emi in a wheelchair…
The saddest sight. Just terrible
No one should have to see that
It’s your own fault Emi, this was your idea.
Yeah you did it to yourself but still…

ow my brain
It was difficult to follow the story, seeing her like that.
The wrenching emotion to the visual made me stop and ask myself
how the fuck am I gonna make a video about this???

The Lemons

OK…. The Lemons…
It’s your own fault Emi, this was your idea.
I’m not gonna say much about this scene, I’m just gonna post this picture of the “love shack” and snicker about how the CGs made me giggle while I was squirming through this wonderfully uncomfortable lewd scene.
[Rin: “Hey the track-and-field shed has a back door”]

As a note, the lewd in Emi’s path was perfect for me and totally matched the tone of the story.
Softcore: leaving most of it to the imagination.
Real and natural: drawing the reader in to authentic and plausible scenarios.
And playful: making it all tie together so well with our little Pirate.
[Kenji: little Butt Pirate]

Block (exams)

Emi is delightfully obsessive and all aspects of what that encompasses.
Until she isn’t.
She appears carefree, when not focused on achieving a goal, and leaving other things behind, just like her running.

And the first 2 times we deal with Emi we almost die.
Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but she runs into us in the hallway and our heart goes BUMPA-DUMPA.
Then we chase her on the track, and our heart goes BUMPA-DUMPA.
She says that she’s sorry, but I'm not so sure that she is.
To get on her path, you have to chase her.
Chase her till you redline.

I think that she sees our trying to push past the physical limitations to the point of recklessness as a kindred spirit, we’re doing what she's doing.
A companion and brother-in-arms who's not going to let their limitations… limit them.
Not that she needs it, but to Emi, this is a justification to her own abandon, being one with her raw fix’ed determination, and shutting out everything else.
We’re someone who – at first - she can safely proximate without perturbing her closed and secret world of the real Emi.
And that's maybe why she falls for us - deeper than just on a physical level.
Not only can she get her rocks off, but initially we’re validating what she's doing, even if what she's doing isn't the best for her in the long run.
[Yuuko: “Oh, “long run” I get it!]

And the problem is – as well as being a gigantic pussy, I'm also calloused and jaded.
And a small piece of my brain that wasn’t awash in happy chemicals from being totally charmed by Emi was trying to get me see past her as a happy / bratty / bubbly / force of nature – that there was something askew with the way she switched gears so quickly, to see past the “smoke and mirrors” part of her candy coating.
Hrmmm, that’s pretty vague isn’t it…
Well so was the feeling I had – because
I didn’t want to go down this road.

The unflappable attitude at enjoying the day as it comes – yeah, that kind of carefree is rarely so carefree.
All the focus and relentless pushing herself, I could not shake the feeling that it was all compensating.
She seems to be trying to prove something... to... to who?
[Lilly: To whom?]
Exactly! That's what I want to know.
[Lilly: *Sigh*]
But I’m getting ahead of myself…

So we give her the space during exams, but then the space never closes up again.
We’re now at arms length.

Big Block

And then pressing this issue brings on the conflict.
Emi is purposely keeping us at a distance.
We're more serious in this than she is.
If I had a nickel.

But why?
Her dad.
Without doubt, bad stuff happened to dad.
I’m speculating the obvious: her father died in the accident.
Or worse, he’s in a vegetative state somewhere – worse because then there is never closure, as always a string of hope remains. Whatever the reason, she’s constructed a wall around herself and is determined to never let anyone in.
[Emi: And that’s the way it is dude.]

And then the next day at the morning run, she sure seems to feel better now that its all out?
[Nurse: yeah, tough titties bruh.]

And here the path does it.
It captures the truth - at least for me - of a real life relationship.
I remember being asked once: "what’s better, 2d girls or 3d girls?"
It was a genuine question.
So I gave a genuine answer.
They are of course, very different creatures.
A 2D girl, is always there for you, in the way you need her.
But there are pretty big limitations to how close you can ever be to a waifu.
A 3D girl… It is indescribable when two autonomous living beings, each with separate volition and different focus’ really connect on a deep and meaningful level, but with each person having free will - that can be hard to obtain, and a lot of work to keep going.

And here in KS, Emi has just transcended 2d girl, and into 3d girl territory.
Not knowing where we stand in this relationship…
Not knowing the “what she says, vs what she means, vs what she feels” - really feels…
And not knowing the best way to navigate the 3 dimensional maze...
[Kenji: them titties just keep getting tougher bruh]
[Nurse: Bruh.]

It is an accordion ride that I am all too familiar with…
Stretched and pulled trying to figure it all out, then crunched and compressed by the ravaging doubt and worry.
Back and forth.
And your own walls start to build as an incipient nagging doubt that scrutinizes all your time together, undermining the ability to connect in ways you should be regardless of what she said.
And I want to climb into the screen and tell her…
We’re trying here Emi, but there’s all these intense feelings about you, that feelings that make it all worthwhile.
[All: ?]
Just didn't know they were unrequited – it’s a gut-punch – and so now you’re telling me I gotta dial em way back?
[Kenji: dafuk is this??]

But back to the tipping point. The break point.
Do we let it go?
Accept our relationship as a tryst with someone who will never be more than a friend?
Or confront it, try, and in peeling the onion – see if we can get through her walls, because she’s so worth that effort, even knowing our efforts may likely blow it all up.
Seriously, if I had a nickel…
Anyone wanna bet how well these relationships worked out for me in real life?

And worst of all – since she doesn’t want to let us get close to her emotionally.
**Maybe we’re not really friends at all*\*
WTF do we do with that knowledge?
[Nurse: need some personal lubricant?]

The times I’ve been in this very position, I was never able to find my way back to just being fuk-buddies.
Because in letting YOU into MY life,
in overcoming my own insecurities… and trusting - despite MY fears.
A bond has formed.
And for me to dial-back, it means killing that beautiful connection, that part of me.
And I never wanted to be someone who could do that.
Someone so callous, who could kill something so precious… for what?
Fuk that.

But that’s the only way. Because anything short of that, and the wistful un-fulfilled and unrequited feelz, like a third member of the relationship, haunt!
And there remains a string of hope – that constantly clouds everything with its melancholy.
Yeah, see, I’ve been Emi’s previous relationship.
I’ve lived that bad-end already.
It’s not recommended.

But I do think we missed an opportunity in that scene –
and Emi's character development.
She very briefly mentions Phantom Limb Syndrome, which if you haven't lost a limb you really can't understand.
Or most people don't even know is a thing.
A very serious struggle.

I would have loved to have Emi, in her own words, describe what it's like to have it.
Explain it to Hisao in a “look Mr Potato head” way that he just doesn’t get it.
Give some insight into her deep hidden struggle, to help us to understand her better from her own perspective.
And in doing so, gain empathy and an even deeper appreciation of her.

Dinner w/Mom

THEN she invites us to Dinner at her Moms…
Another nickel!

Oh, BTW, Emi’s mom Meiko?
[Record scratch]
Oh my…
[Nurse: Settle down Matty]
I’m just sayin’ if there were mods to KS, you know there would be some epic Meiko routes, because she is MILFarific!
The personality, look, the, uh…
[Emi: Perving on my mom. Nice.]

No, Hisao is a better man than me in at least having the tolerance and patience to ride this along…
Good thing. I'm pretty sure I would have wrecked the relationship by now.
Addressing the whole “we’re not good enough to be reliable” and only really good enough for “bumping uglies.”
Yup, I'm not that tactful with matters of the heart.
Of course I would not intentional say something stupid like...
Your secrets can lie in the grave
And boom goes the dynamite.

Hey Hisao, high-five. And here's a nickel.
You're a fucking moron.
Just like me!
[Nurse: So you’re both stupid]
Unquestionably, but that’s beside the point.

So, “why does Emi hang out with Rin…”
She hangs out with Rin because it’s a diversion. Hanging with Rin she doesn't have to face her grief; as the conversation is always Rin’s stream of consciousness and off-kilter logic - and at the same time she’s got company that won’t ever probe. Just distract.
See Emi has demons.
At the end of that scene Emi let slip that her father got her into running, gets sad, then abruptly ends the conversation going on a run – her main distraction - and Hisao remarks that she's a lot faster than she was this morning.

Yes - there’s a beauty to her when she runs.
Passion personified as Emi pushes the track beneath her legs.
Propelling her past it.
Forcing it away and behind her.
Moving forward feels good after all.
Striding powerfully against the barriers of gravity, and flesh, and doubt –
but never really through them.

The feeling Emi gets from running… focusing on the running, being in the moment, being lost in willing and pushing herself, getting away from crushing feelings from the tragedy.

The thing about hiding from the truth…
about running from your emotions…
is you don't actually get away from them.
The pain remains just temporarily assuaged, as the truth may not be faster than you are, but it definitely has better stamina, and will always eventually catch up with you.
But she’s locked in this cycle of running to suppress the emotional pain.
her running… is running away.
And the track is a great metaphor for what’s Emi’s doing.
Because as hard and as fast as she runs…
As determined and dedicated as she throws herself forward…
She’s only going in circles in the end.
And she’s not actually getting anywhere beyond where she started.


And now with running in circles, she keeps passing Hisao, who reminds her, that being alone sucks.
There is evidence of Emmy also questioning herself and having doubts.
Uncertainty when she speaks, considering if she should tell us, trust us….
First date we meet her after track and she kinda surprised we showed (like we weren’t gonna?) and she says she’s “pretty awesome”, and then our 5-star line agreeing with her gives her pause, that someone actually thinks she is awesome.

When she kisses on the roof and in the park, she holds on tight to make sure that you don't run away - not that there's any danger of that happening!
But it’s a great insight into the internal conflict that she's dealing with.
Emi wants this relationship, and she gets is.
But then when she starts to be honest with what this relationship means – a real relationship – it triggers the pain of the last person she was close to - her dad, who got taken away, and she does not want a repeat that.


As YES, they really are rubbing off on each other!
[Rin: Yeah they do! Wink-wink]
[Naked Kenji: “Yo…”]

She’s forced to face that what she is doing sucks.
Hisao and Emi are kindred spirits. Alike in so many ways that it’s impossible for Hisao not to be inspired by Emi, and for Emi not to ignore herself any longer - she knows he’s not going to let her keep running away from herself.
And maybe that’s also why she kept him, even after he wants to take their relationship into her no-zone.
[All: “…!”]
(No not the Lemon thing – her ‘emotional no-zone’.)
[All: :(]
He really does love her – for her.

The “protect myself” part of Emi fights this. The desolate part of Emi craves this.
Which is why the
“Do me a favor… Stay with me”
Is such a great ending.
Because it’s open.
Open and vulnerable emotionally for both Emi and Hisao.
Open as to the fear of what the future will bring.
Open as to the where the story goes from here.
And hopeful, because they’ll face all of that together.
That end is so good in fact that after 3 run-throughs on Emi’s path….
I STILL hadn’t played the bad ending. I just didn’t want spoil the feeling.

Emi, you are wonderful.
Secretly sensitive and focused passionate, with your thousand watt grin.
And I welcome your tactical prowess - showing hints of vulnerability to those you trust, like us.
Disarming us, and allowing us to be ham handily manipulated by you.
Because, a part of us does wants you to get what you want.
Because what you want includes us.
These things happen.
And that’s just cool.
1. Credits
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The Cruise: Confessionals: Episodes 19-Finale

Gwen- Final 10 ! I'm way more confident in the 4th season. With the Crying Crusaders and the Bubble Gum Eaters, I feel like I'm in a good spot. I lied about my score to not be like a challenge threat. I just hope Kadie doesn't win that immunity, so I can put my backstab plan in execution, which is first choose who we vote and then tell that person to use an idol.
Justin- Another flash game? Really? A man of your talents? Seriously though, I feel kind of screwed right now. I don't know if I am a target right now, but I don't think I can win at this rate.
Dwayne- WHEW, lots has happened since the last time I made a confessional. Well first off, Brick got eliminated, so with two other people left, and Devin and Dawn, who I'm pretty sure are traitors, the alliance is virtually disbanded, and I'm gonna have to fly completely solo from now on. Right now, the only thing keeping me in the game is the fact that I wasn't targeted first or second, but I'm pretty sure it's my turn up on the chopping block. If I can't go on an immunity/idol run, I am 100% fucked. Dawn contacted me earlier about a 'deal with Katie' to get out Devin and asked me if I had my starting idol. Obviously, I didn't respond, she's just trying to get info, and even if she was telling the truth, I'm not making any fucking deals with shady ass Bow. Anyways, since it looks like I'm next on the jury, might as well spill some pre-elimination tea, even though everyone will read this AFTER my elimination. Bow's alliance did jack shit but follow him around, and honestly, I have to give props to the guy. In my opinion, he's probably one of the only deserving competitors to win, and if/when I get on the jury, he's pretty much secured my finale vote. You'll hear all this shit in my final letter, but I just thought I'd get this out there. Depending on the results of the challenge, this might be my very last TDR. Signing out for hopefully not the last time, see ya!
Devin- So. Here’s the plan for this vote. I’m not going to participate in the challenge because I don’t need to be looking like a threat by possibly winning a challenge that I know I don’t need to win. Then regarding the vote me, Tom & Canu came up with a sneaky plan. All 3 of us want Bow out however he may start his chain idoling this vote. Plus if we vote him out there is a risk of Chris & Piano going and joining forces with Justin, Dawn, Dwayne & Kitty. So we need to vote with Bow’s group in order to keep their trust but we need to alert the rookie group of who the vote is. So for this to work out these need to be the votes.
Vote For Justin/Kitty - Me, Canu, Tom, Bow, Chris & Piano
Vote For Bow - Dawn, Justin, Kitty & Dwayne
We first need to convince Bow’s Group to vote for someone with an idol then we need to tell someone that they are voting that person so they play an idol. Hopefully it works out because I would hate for this to backfire.
Devin- So I just crunched some numbers and if I’m guaranteed I’m Final 4 like I said that means I have at least 7 more episodes. Which means I’d be tied with the Runner-Up of Season 3 Jpeg for 3rd most episodes in Idol Island. THAT’S CRAZY. I pretty much see the top 3 in my sights and listen JT I’m coming for your title you just hit 300 TDG Episodes and I’m gonna soon hit 300 TDII Episodes (don’t check my math). Watch out.
Dawn- I can't wait for Devin to go. He thinks that he has everyone on his side when really no one is with him. Tom is going next and after Tom it's Devin and then I'm gonna get Gwen with me and we'll take out Katie, Dwayne or Noah and then it will be the other 2 after one of them and then I'm gonna take people from my alliance out when it's just us left.
Dwayne- Ok, how the Hell am I still in?
Devin- So let me explain my thought process for this vote. I knew we had the votes to get out Justin so I figured I’d go along with whatever that rookie alliance said. They said Noah to make it seem like I trust them and they should trust me I voted Noah. I have no clue why there votes were so scattered but whatever that’s another conversation baby. That I’d need to talk to DRH to.
Dwayne- Ok if I'm going to be completely honest, I kind of know I'm screwed, so I'm pretty done with the alliance right now. For now, I'm just going to have fun with my submissions and stuff, you know, go buck wild before I burn out in a blaze of "ill repute", which the thesaurus says is an antonym of 'glory'.
Tom- ok so now that I’ve helped get rid of most people I feel more of a vote to the others and not a player. So I’m hoping I get a high spot In this challenge. Also if we have a chance to get rid of Katie I won’t hesitate to get her overly sized and somehow small really small waist out of here. I feel me and devin are going to make to top five well that’s what I’m hoping. Being new to this I’ve done a really good job but it’s mostly do to make it friends with the right people. Also I forgot to mention why i said piña colada. It’s mostly because I’m a virgin. Even if it’s not a virgin piña colada I told you it’s mostly because a virgin wouldn’t help with what your asking, but it would be virgin if it didn’t need alcohol. For be a gay man you would’ve think I would have been f***** but nope. I think it’s my shady ass personality but hey that’s just me boo. K done confessing my sins even tho I don’t go to church.
Gwen- Here's how the vote will go (if I'm lucky). Katie told me, Devin and Tom to vote for Dawn, while she will vote for Kitty, along with Noah. Since Kitty and Sadie have self-votes and we don't know who Dawn and Dwayne are voting, the vote would go in a 3-3-2-1. But no. Me and Devin or Tom will vote for Katie, along with Dawn and Dwayne, so the vote is going in a 4-3-1-1 for Katie. I hope it'll work
Devin- There is a plan in affect. We are hoping that Tomo/Canu/Dawn/Myriam all vote Bow. Chris & Bow Vote Kitty as long as Kitty’s self vote. I vote for Dawn, Piano votes for themself. It’s a 4-3-1-1 Vote if it goes correctly. This would be legendary if it works out. Fingers Crossed. May the Bows hit the fan.
Dawn- Right now i'm doing good in this game. I guess i'm the honey that catches the flies.
Gwen gave Katie her idol. So did Tom. Yes I am serious.
Devin- WOOOOOO THE GAMBLE PAID OFF! I’m jumping up and down more then Crazy at a Trump Rally! Top 8 baby! So. Let’s get this straight I love Canu & Tomo dearly but..... them giving idols to Bow is not the best of things for the Bubblegum eaters. It’s basically the Bubblegum Eaters, Dwayne & Kitty vs Bow, Chris, Piano and his trillion idols. Nothing could go wrong right?
Devin- 50! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 this monumental moment deserves a trip to Idol Island. But like in all seriousness the reason I’m acting like I am is so that target is on my back and not any of my allies. A lot of people can probably agree with me on this but Bow’s game is like a monkey. He flings a lot of poo. And, if that’s what I need to do to get Bow to target me then I’m surely gonna play monkey see, monkey do. I’ll fling as much poo as I need to to convince Bow to fling his poo back at me. Let’s hope that this works out. 😂 🐒
Josh- This might be the worst confessional of any season. I’m not kidding.
Devin- Since I’m a fan of edgic I’m gonna rank the Final 8 (minus myself) from who I think has the best chance to win this gave to who has the worst (in my eyes of course).
Bow: I know you're thinking woah but Bow is the GOAT of the season. Well I mean he is the Greatest of All Treachery. Honestly with everyone worshipping him but then giving them all there idols like he’s the pope I see very few scenarios where he is in a terrible place come Final 4.
Myriam: A lot of people are sleeping on Myriam. I mean they’ve shown they can win challenges they’ve had a few idol plays and Myriam is a pretty essential key vote for these next two or so votes.
Canu Canu has had his blunders I feel but hasn’t everyone? Canu needs to overcome these next few votes and I think Canu has a pretty good shot at winning this game.
Chris Oh Chris, from my point of view at least Chris has seemed to say “Everyone’s following Dylan” but like it seems like Bow has called all the shots in that threesome. However, there is probably something I’m just not seeing. We’ll see
Tomo Tomo has wanted to make moves and I hope he shines some more because he truly has potential but I haven’t seen enough of it yet to call him the winner.
Piano Definitely seems like Jpeg from last season didn’t do much and will probably come close to winning just because they are liked.
Edvin Who? The fact that Edvin has been active on Reddit & Discord and not playing is a lot worse. It’s even sadder with the whole Crazy thing, and the new players seeming to team up and DRH telling me that I didn’t have his vote in the end for some reason. I wouldn’t be shocked if he somehow beat me.
Dwayne- Last episode was a fucking ride. First off, I've kind of officially cut ties with my 'alliance' since the only people left in it are me and Kitty and if Bow doesn't want Kitty out, she might be allied with him. To clarify, Devin and I had a plan that was going great. Everyone was voting him, so he played an idol so we could get Bow out. Now, believe me, I don't particularly trust him as far as I can throw him due to his past actions, and I have very sad upper body strength. But me and him have the same goal, which is eradicating Bow and his alliance, so I sorta have to trust him. But Josh decided to fake us out and, surprise, he revealed Bow played one of his like 29 idols after he read out what would have the 4 votes to send Bow packing. Then there was a revote between Gwen, Kitty, and Sadie. That's when Bow contacted me asking me to vote Gwen 'instead of Kitty'. Now, I may be a rookie and start my sentences with the word 'Now' so much, but I'm not a fool. Bow plays a sociopathic game, caring only for what will benefit him. In case it was some weird 'reverse psychology' and he wanted Kitty out, I contacted Devin and told him to vote out Sadie. But it was another fucking tie. So rocks happened and Dawn got out. I'm a bit mixed because it felt like she was half on my side but also half on Bow's side. A bit off topic change but if I had to pick someone to vote off besides Bow it would have to be Tom, it's fairly obvious he's a goon of Bow, and if not he's definitely someone's goon and I'm a bit uncomfortable how he's floated this far since he hasn't really done much. Anyways, I have a quiz challenge to try and ace, see you soon, confessional.
Devin- I love that Bow seems to be underestimating me, I don’t know how many idols he has and I know I’m on the losing end of this, but I will be sitting in Final 4 and I will give Bow a run for his money if I have too. Because I’m not gonna just lay down and die. Better watch out because this bee might just sting ya!
Tom- K so this is getting crazy. I never believe that i would be able to play the game. I was just a vote to others but now I’m starting to make some moves. My goal now is to flip on Gwen and Devin. I’m starting to work with Katie now. Are deal was that he would take me to final 4 and take Devin to to final 5 if he doesn’t gun for Katie. Also I don’t know how I survived the rocks. My whole body sunk into the floor like i was in some quick sand. I’m going to try and make top 2 but i have to prove that i can win something before that that’s why I’m really going to try this time(we’ll more then I have in the past). That’s all for today fellow queens out there snaps fingers see y’all.”!
Devin- So..... let’s go through whether people would vote for me in a Final 2 or not.
Jay - Probably will not vote me because I believe he thinks I’m Crazy.
Owen - Might vote for me, depends on who sits next to me.
Brick - Seems to respect my game but probably won’t vote for me.
Justin - May vote for me. Idrk
Dawn - Has literally said to me that I do not have their vote in the case I’m in Final 2. For some reason it seems like they personally dislike me when I’ve been nothing but nice to them in the game. Also, I’m not gonna stick my neck on the line and vote out my closest ally when I’m safe if we go to rocks. I told you why they should of flipped and they seem to take it out on me & Tomo.
Canu - Would 100% vote for me in the case I’m in Final 2.
Tomo - The only person I see him voting over me would be Canu.
Bow - I’m not sure he’d want to vote for me considering that would make me the first two time winner of II, I’m sure that he votes me over certain people but ya never know.
Chris - My BFF. He could vote for me over Tomo or Edvin maybe let’s see.
Piano - Probably doesn’t vote for me in a Final 2.
Myriam - Seems to respect me, depends on who I’m with in Final 2.
Edvin - Who?
Devin- I WON IMMUNITY! Woo! Anyways I gave Canu the Dont Give This To Bow Idol because why not. This point I’m not 100% sure if Bow is actually voting Dwayne (doubt it) so I’m gonna hope Dwayne found an idol and will vote for someone like Chris or Piano in the hopes Bow doesn’t actually play those 4 idols.
Devin gave Gwen an idol
Dwayne found an idol
Tom- K so im flipping on devin. He was cool till he voted sadie out and wants to work with Dwayne so ya. Kate is my best bet to final 4/3. Im not going to let that go for granted. Wish me luck sweethearts.
Devin- I can’t believe I didn’t notice this sooner. However I think Chris & Piano threw that last challenge so they could get the 1 question right. ....... okay. First Chris thought Jay was the least Correct Votes (out of the Players left) and said that there were more correct Idol plays then Incorrect. Then, Piano answered me for a number answer. Then with the vote.... I CANT BELIEVE THAT PANNED OUT. I’m genuinely shocked that this vote went my way. Nothing ever goes my way. So currently it’s me, Tomo, Canu & Myriam vs Bow & Chris (accompanied by a lawn chair and 50 idols.) What could go wrong?
Gwen- Final 7 ! Ok, so if me or Dylan don't win that challenge, I'm probably getting voted out next. God, Bow really wants me out. Dylan can't play, so here I am, alone vs the world. I'm not totally sure why, but I think it's because me, Dylan and Tom are in an alliance. Dylan is the most powerful member of the alliance (in my opinion), but he got enough idol, so it's between me and Tom. Tom is a beginner, and can't be really a threat. He's probably working with Chris and Kitty, since they both voted for me. Which gives Dwayne and Me. I'm working with somebody else, which gives me a target. Probably my last confessional. It was really fun while it lasted.
Dwayne- Last episode, man. Last episode was fucking heavenly. So first off, DEVIN COMES BEARING NEWS! So far, Devin has been my only really 'true' ally since the collapse of the alliance, so I feel like I can trust him. He tells me that Katie was planning a 'wide scale idol play' on her, Sadie, Noah, and Kitty, which we presumed to be an obvious bluff, and that she was targeting me. I had no idea if Katie was lying about that or not, but hey as I said, I have nothing to lose. I don't even want to win anymore, I just want to do a full scale demolition of Katie and her alliance. Ok, so, we start discussing the vote, agree the idol play is a bluff and decide to vote Sadie. However, I also decided to tell Gwen to vote Sadie, because Katie was deadset on her leaving last time. I had no idea if she believed me or not but she just told me the same stuff Devin told me except she actually believed it. However, this conversation was for naught because it turned out she DID believe me about Katie targeting her, because an idol play on herself and my idol on myself lead to Sadie being eliminated with a staggering....
2 votes. And after the elimination, Gwen messaged me saying that she was sorry for not believing me and that we can take down Katie. In other words, looks like I just scored myself a new ally. I hope you have enough idols, Katie, because you're in for a wild fucking ride if you don't. Anyways, see you soon, confessional. Bye!
Devin- It’s Day 82 of the season and I don’t think this season is going to let us down, we’re down to 7 and last time my goal number was 7. I made it and I won, this time I didn’t think I’d make Top 15 and look I’m here! I honestly don’t think I can win but you better be sure I’m gonna try. My overall goal is to help someone like Canu get as far as they can. After last season I was pretty disappointed that I chose to take Jpeg over Dawnwins. However, there is no way this time I’m just going to throw a friend under the bus like I did. I don’t care if I basically have to throw myself under the bus in order to fulfill that promise. I’ll stare down the biggest baddest of wolves if it means I’ve proven myself.
Gwen- Early confessional. I can't. Never thought I would be able to get away with this vote. Bow somehow got scared of me, and decided to switch with an easier choice, Tom. I'm really happy that the Chris blindside worked. I wouldn't try to get Bow, Dylan and Tomo out now, so Dwayne and Kitty have to be the next two boots. The best scenario would be to get Bow 4th, and I can win the final immunity challenge, and bring Tomo. Even if Dylan (or Crazy?) is my best friend here, Tomo would be easier to beat in a jury vote. But Chris have a solid point. If I'm in finale against Bow or Dylan, it's over for me. I'm so close yet so far from the end. Just checked the 4 last challenge of every TDII season. My guess is: F6 - Food challenge F5 - Vote chart challenge F4 - Commercial challenge F3 - Confessional challenge Could totally win the vote chart challenge, can win the commercial and confessional challenge, but I don't think I can possibly win a writing challenge. Anyways, here it is.
Devin- I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. I came into this season not necessarily playing to win, but playing to prove myself to the people that didn’t think that I deserved to win S3. I think I’ve done just that. I now get a chance to finally pull out this baby the SPECIAL IDOL. I’ve kept this baby a secret for 3 Months. Now it’s time to figure out a way to get me and the people I want to Final 4.
Devin- So short but sweet but I made a spreadsheet to try and see who would vote for who in the case they were in Final 2.
Dwayne- Time for a long ass confessional! Our plan is going great, Noah’s down for the count. I’m hoping next elimination we can aim for the throat if Katie has no more idols lodged up her ass. Anyways, I think we successfully have Gwen on our side and while Devin supposedly tried to get Tom with us, it wasn’t successful because Noah only got 3 votes. Speaking of votes, I made an off hand quip about someone really hating me since I got 2 votes in two eliminations back to back. The voted to me were obviously Kitty and Tom falling for Katie’s trap, but then she decided to tell me that the votes were ‘by your allies’ or some shit like that I can’t check. Mobile. I dunno if she thinks I’ll fall for it, but Momma didn’t raise a fool. Katie is definitely an ‘interesting case’ honestly. She uses lying and trickery to plant seeds of doubt in someone’s mind, and any allies she gets, she’ll dump easily while she tries to rise to the top. Take last elimination for example. No idols were played beside Devin and my ‘protection idols’, since Katie was immune she didn’t play one on herself. This led to Noah’s elimination, who was pretty clearly one of Katie’s allies. But I think she couldn’t give a damn. To her this is less of the ‘No! My allies, without them I’m doomed!’ I had after Brick and Owen got the boot and more of an eerie ‘A minor setback.’ To her, people are nothing more than pawns and her plays are made with her and only her in mind. She wants to win, so she does whatever it takes. For any newbie doing their research by going through confessionals and stuff, first off, thank God. Second, do NOT TRUST BOW. Once this elimination comes around, I think it’s time to do a little of my own lying and shit throwing. Hopefully, I win immunity. I researched tips on how to best solve slide puzzles and my current time is 5.6 minutes so I should be good. I’ll keep trying for a lower score. See you soon confessional!!
Devin- I’m so close it’s final 6 now. I can taste the victory, almost as much as Jpeg wants to taste Absol’s feet. I would hate for this season to have a lousy ending almost as much as idols hate Jay. I just would appreciate if people respected me and didn’t call me crazy every 15 seconds, just like Fuyu appreciated making it to merge of TDG. I just wanna Win! Like JT won All-Stars and SurvivORG and Tianzi and every ORG he’s ever been in.
Katie- (First off, fuck Reddit for deleting my confessional after I spent 30 minutes on it)
When I last left off, I had told Dawn to get an idol played on Justin so that Devin/Gwen would be idoled out, except she failed to get someone in her alliance to play an idol for him, and as a result Justin went home and ruined my plan to blindside someone while not directly voting for them. At least Justin and I weren't on working conditions, so him going home didn't hurt my game, and it isolated Dwayne to be on his own. This was also the last "easy vote" before the game broke out again.
Final 9, the glorious rock draw. I decided to throw the challenge to try and figure out if Devin would flip right away on me so I can sus him out, and the very simple answer was yes, but good thing I had an idol. I voted for Devin, but then Dawn voted Gwen which gave me a chance in the revote to still get a flipper out, except Dwayne ignored my messages (and has ignored them this entire game) and ended up siding with them.
What I did benefit from in the revote was that I got Gwen and Tom to give me their idols. I just brought up a fake deal of how I would save them on revote, but I had 0 intention of doing so, and since Devin wasn't there to babysit his cult, I got 2 idols for free (Which have been helping me and only me).
Once the rocks were brought out, I wanted Tom to go home, but Dawn ultimately pulled the unlucky one, and she left. I don't know what our relationship was, since you constantly told me you voted a certain way, then never did until it was too late. I kept wanting to work with you, but all you did was feed me lies.
Now at Final 8, I had a solid 3 person alliance, and used connections with Kitty to try and get her to become my 4th (which worked). Once again I threw the challenge to use up another idol, except when it came to the vote, Kitty leaked the vote to Dwayne who got them to play idols and send Sadie home. YOU WERE ROBBED.
The same story happened at Final 7, except I had Kitty throw a vote at Dwayne, so I lost Noah the following vote, so I fumbled my plan right when it could have worked.
Alright, now this part wasn't originally in the confessional, but since Reddit was being a bitch and now it's 1:30, I'm going to rant about how stupid these other 5 are being.
Devin: You are legit the only other person playing the game, even if you are an alt. I'm sending your ass home since I refuse to be outplaced by an alt who is less charismatic than a piece of sandpaper.
Tom: You have done very well for your first time playing, but I'm afraid you are just reducing yourself to be a mindless cult follower, and I don't see you surviving this vote if I win immunity/idol Kitty. You only have yourself to blame because you didn't listen to me earlier because I would have actually taken you far.
Gwen: You have no excuse. You constantly play in other Orgs, yet you are willing letting yourself be dragged by an alt to be a goat. I'd argue even if you did cut Devin at F3, you still lose to Tom because he would at least reach out to people.
Dwayne: You do amazing at the challenges and challenge me which is cool. Your main flaw is that I have tried to talk to you ever since the Final 19 and you have never sent 1 message back, which is why I will not be voting you if you make it to the end with anyone besides Gwen. You let your entire alliance get demolished, and are now siding with people who have constantly voted you to go home instead of me when I haven't voted you.
Kitty: I'ma be very blunt, you aren't active here at all and are only around because I knew I could flip you over, so I kept you safe over and over. The only reason I'd give up my idols at this point to keep you safe is because I know I can cash in on an easy win in the final 2. What annoys me is that you are the reason F8 didn't work out since you leaked targets, and now it's gonna be a bumpy road.
On a last note before I wrap this up, I know I'm on the chopping block if I lose immunity and don't have an idol, which is why I laid the foundation by blindsiding the people who are challenge threats to me, and the only 2 left in my way are Devin and Dwayne, and I'm confident one of those 2 will be leaving this vote, and I can kick ass from F5-> F3 so I can control who goes when.
See you all at the winner's circle, because the only person keeping a 100% win rate in Idol Island is me.
Dwayne- bamboozled once again
Devin- This is a CRUCIAL round for one of the bubblegum eaters need to go to Idol Island and win immunity. Best case scenario this round is that we win both immunity and an idol Island Visit and find an idol. That means all 3 of us are safe. If Bow wants to play an idol for Kitty go ahead. Beacause then everyone would be immune, I believe we go to a revote without the idols and it’s hopefully bye bye Bow my buddy with a 3-2 vote. Nothing could go wrong! Let’s just all hope that this move to get Bow actually works this time.
Gwen- Final 5. Wow. Never thought I would make this far. The season, which was during nearly the whole summer, will end soon. The conversation we had earlier with Me, Dylan, Tomo, Gav, Firebid, Bow and Absol made me think. Sooner or later, I have to vote for Dylan and Tomo. I made a chart about how the season would end. If I make to the final 3, there would be 9/12 of me getting in finale, but only 4 of the 9 alternative could let me win. If I'm against bow or Dylan, I stand no chances. I originally planned to make this confessional longer, but instead of talking, I'll show you my charts
Tom- So I plan on not losing so Gwen gots to go. Sorry hunny but you have done nothing for me were I’ve made deals to try and keep you in. I’m now working with Katie well devin doesn’t know(we’ll hopefully he doesn’t know I’m really working with Katie) I’m not going to get screwed over today. Uh Uh, not today Satan, not today. Josh you need some money for your next season? Well once I win this one I’ll loan you some. Talk later sisters snaps fingers
Devin- Today has been really hard. I’ve felt like I’ve been through the ringer today. Not many people like me and that’s their opinion, but then to be called a try hard based off my placements in 2 seasons, also I was told that I try to act like a saint and I have no emotional connect with these people basically. That hurts, it hurts a lot. I haven’t even met these people. To have the cherry on top of the sundae I’m on a regular basis called Crazy. That’s a real confidence boost. However I’m not gonna just lay down and let Bow’s plan work. I’m gonna give it my all to try and make sure it doesn’t. I’ll pull a Tonya Harding and break some knees if I have to, but to Bow when your reading this it’s only one pair a knees I’m going after, it’s yours.
Devin- So.... my acting isn’t the best I mean I was in a school play once, but I’m hoping Bow’s 10k Confessional whatever that means doesn’t beat mine, I’ve worked my butt off to try and get this far and I’ve helped my group I’m not gonna let Bow the intimidator just beat me.
Devin- So. For a last stitch effort to go to Idol Island, I made a little rap for y’all
It all started off on a cruise that I probably shouldn’t taken, But I feel like I’ve played good let’s not be a fakin’. I’ve seemed to gain a lot of hatred on the way, What can I say I came to play. I had people call me out What a crazy route, to get here. I met some people along the cruise Some of them I had to ruse. There was Canu a Canadian prince We’ve been allies ever since. Tomo the rookie, He might not be the bookie’s favorite. But, he’s definitely made it. DRH sigh the non-All-Star, JT would agree because he won All-Stars. Bow the little poo flinging villain, Can definitely say that he’s not allies with Dylan. Jay the little quitter, But to me he’s a winner. Myriam idol finding royalty, Maybe we’ll be allies some day and he can invite me to his palace. To round out some of the bunch we have the Final 5 lawn chair, why are they there? Plenty of people have bashed me, some saying I have no soul maybe and others like to call me Crazy! This season hasn’t been a bore, I hope I can stay around for more. I hope you liked my rap-poem Send me to Idol Island and you’ll get mo’ em.
Katie- When we last left off, I picked up an idol after my wonderful confessional and used that idol on Kitty to ensure someone from the majority would be leaving and in the end Dwayne got the boot since he got the votes of Gwen/Tom/Kitty, I voted Devin, and the rest voted Kitty.
After that point, this round is a clear 3-2 split (Devin/Gwen/Tom vs Me/Kitty), so I knew this was a do or die round, and I'm not here to die. Currently I have 1 idol (2 if I manage to nail this confessional), meanwhile I need to protect myself and Kitty in order to force the 3 to vote out a member, or else I risk putting myself in a 1-3 minority where I need to win every immunity until the F2 to have a chance to win.
Thus, my first plan was to bluff having 3 idols left. With my earlier trips to idol island in combination with my history of getting idols from people, I figured that this shouldn't be difficult at all, and as a result of lying to everyone about it, I'm 99% sure it's bought. In this scenario that I magically have 3 idols, I can use 1 on me + 1 on Kitty so neither of us can go home, and if everyone is immune this vote and we repeat F5, we'd be immune once again so that Gwen/Tom is the boot 100%.
Next up, I added the layer of chaos since I need to have the 3 be at odds with each other for this entire round, so they would not want to work together, and burn jury votes from each other.
First step was publicly stating my plan to cause a split vote with Kitty where Devin is the deciding vote. Since I made everyone think this current vote will have Devin be immune due to his wave idol in conjunction with Me/Kitty being immune due to immunity/idols, it forces Gwen and Tom to turn on each other since one of them will be locked as a boot if no other idols are left to exist.
The scenario everyone thinks will happen is as listed below:
Gwen: (Tom, Me/Kitty)
Tom: (Gwen, Me/Kitty)
Deciding vote: Devin
If that occurs, I get away with lying about idoling Kitty, and Devin has to burn one of his allies + a jury vote since he promised to go far with them. In addition, it means that F4 will be a 2-2 split, where I can flip someone on Devin/force fire and win.
What they don't know is Kitty and I will vote together. I have 0 intention on actually splitting votes, and I know that from the available options, Gwen is the person I want gone more. She has the potential to steal immunity wins from me that Tom doesn't have, and Tom played a major part in allowing this scenario to happen.
The Blowup
For all of you not on Discord, you are missing out first of all, but second of all I get a dm from Tom asking what he needed to do to not have the votes split and leave Devin in charge of his fate (Since he knew he was on the bottom of their 3), and I told him to leak their challenge information + their alliance name/dms.
I used all of that information and then pinged Devin and told him all this info in general chat so that he knew something was up, and then proceeded to make up lies about all the leaking Gwen did this round, when in reality with was Tom. After that, Devin and Tom proceeded to have a drawn out fight in the chat about being each other's F2 and how they would quickly vote out Tom (Which they would and I'm glad Tom realized it).
To be blunt, I know I didn't win this challenge, but my 1 idol is going directly for me since self preservation is above all in terms of importance, and everything means nothing if I idol Kitty and go home. Even with the info leaks, I'm pretty sure someone from their 3 won because they did it before I blew up their games.
Individual Writeups
Devin: I'm pretty convinced your blowup was 80% fake, but I just have a feeling you were serious. If you were, sorry about straining your friendship, but I'm just doing whatever I need to so I can go 2/2 in Idol Island and win. I have 0 plan on going to the finale with you, which is why once F4 rolls around, that will be your last round here.
Gwen: You are a great player, but for that exact reason I want you gone next. I eliminated many people in this season for being an amazing player and saving those who were objectively worse at the game, and you are lined up next. Even if you do survive over Tom for F5, I doubt that you make F2 due to everyone being against you + being seen as a goat.
Tom: While I love your flip this round, it honestly is a few rounds late. I've been telling you all of this since final 9, but only once you are most likely to be eliminated this round you reach out. I think you have a lot of potential in future seasons, but I don't think you survive this round. If you survive and Gwen goes home, you make 3rd place easily since I can't risk you surviving over the largest goat this season.
Kitty: Speaking of goats, that's where Kitty comes in. The only reason you are still in is because I kept telling others to keep you in due to a lack of an idol + not doing challenges. You are an easy person to beat in the finale, and are just a free vote for me to use however needed. Your edgic rating is the amount of votes you will get in the finale if I'm sitting next to you - UTR 1.
Devin- If I lose to Kitty in this challenge I’ll go into a deep depression.
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[Table] IamA 2 time World Rap Champion, TheSaurus AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-08-06
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Anyway what is one battle that you would show to people who have not seen a battle before? One of the best battles to show someone unfamiliar with the scene is Kid Twist vs DumbFounDead because it just has a universal comedic appeal. If they like more "rap" type stuff then Pass vs Hollow for sure.
what is your favourite battle that you have done? My favorite battle that Ive done is probably vs DumbFounDead, maybe Hollohan as a close 2nd because that was my first trip to Canada. And of course the first jumpoff final in vegas.
Also what battlers do you rate the most from Dont Flop? My favorites in DF are Unan, Eurgh & Cruger of course, Soul, Deff, Matter, Shuffle T & Marlo.
How much weed/oil/wax do you go through on any given day? - if you could get one beat from any producer today, who? I pretty much strictly smoke wax now, i just reload my micro G maybe 3 times a day to stay vaped. Take a dab or two throughout the day as well.
Alchemist is THAT DUDE.
Did the altercation with manik go any further than what was on camera? Was probably the biggest bitchmove in all of battle rap, catching feelings over such a non personal battle.. The drama from the Manik battle was deaded outside the venue immediately afterward. Everything's all good, it just got heated.
If you had your current frame of mind in regard to reacting to shock value bars, would you have reacted any differently in the 2v2 vs Po and Diaz? My current frame of mind is no different now than it was then regarding bars about the deceased.
Wait i do have a question actually. you had said to me once that taking LSD opened up your mind to be able to freestyle as well as you do. can you explain and expand on this? As a youngster i did hella LSD lol. Honestly it just assisted/fried my brain into looking at things in a different context to the point of where I basically processed everything backwards when i would freestyle. Id see the punchline/payoff line and then I would just sort of subconsciously rhyme myself to that point almost on autopilot. Shit was fucked up haha.
Well hello sir. My only question for you is ... when are we going to kick it again my old friend!!? You BETTER be at WD4 bro. I miss hangin out with the Gawd. Holler at me fam.
I won't be there unfortunately, but I'm thinking I might take a trip to California again sometime so I'll let you know. Hell yeah lemme know fam. Youre always welcome in Cali.
Did you ever battle eyedea (RIP)? Do you ever get angry at shit people say about you during battles? Never battled Eyedea unfortunately. He was a huge influence Im at the point now where nothing bothers me at all in battles. If someone brings up my dad disrespectfully I just think less of them as a human now.
Also could you brag a little? What's your best line/ battle you've ever had? Best battle was vs DumbFounDead I think.
Yo man, cheers for the years of entertainment. Your 05 Justice battle is probably my favorite of all time, and your Hollohan match is another I watch regularly. And who stole the tapes?! What did we miss? I dunno who stole the tapes for certain hahahahahaha. We all have our theories tho.
Excluding yourself, do you have a current Top 5 or any match-ups you would either like to see or be in? Do you have a favorite battle of yours? Current top 5 as of Today - Real Deal, Aye Verb, Big T, JC, Daylyt.
Have you ever done an online text battle and would you admit if you had? Hahaha yes. I have. Way back in the day.
Okay, a few more, haha. He wrote all 3 rounds.
In your battle with Solomon, do you think he came with mostly writtens while you were mostly freestyling? That seemed to be the impression I got. Also, how often does a battle linger? Similar to a bad beat, say if you think about a rebuttal you could have had that you thought of later? A battle doesnt really linger, I dont ever worry about the judges votes or outcome. Unless theres money on the line.
, I know the answer, at least the official one, but did you and Mac Lethal actually not discuss rhyme schemes and/or possible rebuttals before the battle? No. We booked Mac's flight 8 hours before the event began. We didnt have time to do anything like that.
How much do you profit on an average year from poker? What's your biggest tournament or cash game win in a single sitting? Do you think you beat Real Deal? Ive averaged 55k a year playing poker since I started playing full time 10 years ago. Only had one losing year, two years close to break even and a steady increase every year since 2007 once I had more of a padding to my bankroll. The best I've ever done in a day is 38k in 24 hours. Beat up a cash game for 7700, played directly into their noon tourney which i chopped for 17k and then won almost another 15k playing cash after that just riding the rush.
I beat real Deal, Two Times™
How the hell do you make more profit now that 07? Games were crazy soft back then. Because I started playing bigger and also got a shitload better. particularly in MTTs.
Why do you think URL/Smack-style rappers haven't adopted freestyle or rebuttles as much as KOTD/Grindtime/Don't Flop rappers? Freestyling is something that such a small percentage of the world can actually do. And pretty much everyone who is given the opportunity to write instead of freestyle is gonna maximize their writing. No point in straying from the script if it isnt better than what youve written.
Also, what are the things promoters get right or wrong that viewers don't know about? Promoters think this is an instant gold mine as far as throwing events and whatnot. They dont know how much work & time goes into putting things together and to building a big enough following to be able to make money off of it.
What is your opinion of Lil Wayne as a rapper? He has a few moments of greatness and a lot of nonsense.
When will we see you in the URL? When i get an opponent that Id really like to battle.
Do you feel like the staff at the URL are very selective of who they let on their platform? Is it bad that they're doing that? They are selective and its a good thing to an extent. Its about quality control.
what does it mean personally to get co-signed by Drake? Does it push you further to write battles and make good music? Drake's cosign is an incredible feeling honestly. For him to say anything at all is huge, and for him to speak highly of me is very surreal. Hes a great artist, one of the biggest in the world at the moment and the light hes shining on the battle scene as a whole is really a great look.
Rematch Mac Lethal for a stack of flapjacks? Only if it gets that many views.
What do you think is the best overall TheSaurus performance? And best TheSaurus round? I think my best performance in the written format was vs Dumbfoundead and anyone who was there live could probably attest to it. My best round is a tough call. I liked my 2nd vs DNA, i liked my 3rd vs Ness, my 3rd vs Madness. I'll put more thought into it and come up with a definitive answer.
Hello TheSaurus! Great work first of all. What do you think about the foreign country rap battle fans? Especially the ones where English is not their main language, in terms of verse complexity? What is your Top5 In battle rap right now? Keep it up! I love the foreign fans. I think the fact that battling is now on a global scale is such a huge/positive thing for the scene, everywhere I have gone the fans have been amazing. And the fact that they can process it all in a language that isnt even theirs is very impressive.
Who's your favorite battler that is currently active? Current favorite might be the homie Real Deal. or JC.
How long does it take for you to rehearse your verses? I can memorize verses in less than an hour if need be. All depends of the urgency of it.
Do you think GrindTime will ever make a comeback? Grindtime is done for from the looks of things.
What's your opinion on the controversy behind Arcane and battle raps being bought? How is Organik trying to handle all of that? Are battlers pissed at Dizaster for exposing how often bars are bought? The controversy has blown over for the most part. Basically Pat Stay is his punishment lol. Or its his way to prove that he really deserves to be champ. Either way i think its fitting.
No one's pissed at Diz tho. Battlers dont buy bars. That was one exception.
Back when GrindTime had OT rounds was there ever a time you never got to spit a fourth round you had written that you really liked? Or was there ever an opponent that fell through you had some great material for? Basically please tell some old bars you never got the chance to say haha. I wish I could remember any of that stuff but it was like 2 laptops ago haha. Im sorry man.
Thanks for doing the AMA: My question is simply, how did you get so good at rapping? Relentless practice & work and being lucky enough to be surrounded by some of my biggest positive influences in rap.
What do you make of Mainstream rappers like kanye etc? It seems like all the underground guys spit way better than they do. Im a fan of a lot of mainstream artists. Some of them might not have the same intricate writing styles or depth to their lyrics but they just plain know how to make amazing music that I can relate/vibe to.
Shouts from Manchester UK. How come you have never battled on SMACK/URL ? Ive yet to be offered an opponent that Id have heavy interest in battling.
Mostly live or online? I was a live prop for 6 years. ive mostly played live since i started playing full time.
Biggest live win? (Tourney) Biggest live tourney cash was about 17k.
Cool hope to see you back at Don't Flop again soon dude. I'll be back ina few months!
How do you come up with your raps under pressure? Im used to it. I came up in an era of battling where it was a 32 man tournament and zero preparation. Executing under pressure was the nature of the beast.
How do the raps flow to you? Do you ever find yourself struggling for a word to rhyme with? It just kind of comes to me naturally to tell the truth. Its like a rolodex in my brain. I say or think of a word or phrase and have access to a dozen things that fit the rhyme scheme. Acid brain.
Props for doing this, and all you've done for the movement. Truly Team Legendary. Kind of a reverse of a previous question but, best one I could think of on short notice. Do you feel there were any specific battles where the opponent clearly beat you, but you were awarded the W? What do you think it was due to, if so? Also, do you follow proper-ish bankroll management for your poker endeavors? I thought Matter beat me in Dont Flop but the judges gave their explanations afterwards and its all just their opinions anyhow. The Pat Stay battle is debatable and so is the Real Deal but who am I to argue with an esteemed panel of elite judges lol.
Big fan here with a mediocre question: What's your favorite battle that you've been in? And who do you think (besides you) has the best wordplay skills out of all the battlers on the scene right now? The DumbFouDead & illmac battles are probably my favorites Ive ever been in.
As far as wordplay goes I think KG the Poet is underrated, obviously CHilla is crazy with it, JC is nice too but hes more polished overall.
Why does everyoje feel like they can call you Pete?? Best question yet. Somehow unanswerable.
Have you ever thought about getting on the Dirtbag Dan show? Shit would be hilarious. Yeah itll happen when i can get to the Bay for a weekend. Ive just been in & outta town too much.
How do you feel about Rhymesayers, Atmosphere, Eyedea, and Mac Lethal? Thanks for the AMA! Always been a huge fan of Rhymesayers as a whole. Mac Lethal is the homie and a huge influence on me, always has been. Eyedea was a big influence as well in the freestyle era for me, not so much for his music. Brother Ali is probably my favorite artist under Rhymesayers honestly tho.
You mentioned that Illmaculate was the toughest that you had to prep for- what battler do you think brought the best material against you? Regardless of your own performance. Madness: You got a dirty mechanic's face, but cant fix a pair of brakes You look like you let yourself marinate in nair & mace And the result was your flesh is the same texture as carrot cake.
Since no one else really asked, who are your biggest influences as far as writing goes? Writing wise Mac Lethal was an early influence. Now its more like cats like Bender & only & ill.
What do you look for first in a hip hop song? Structure, content, story telling, flow, wordplay, multies? Top 5 dead or alive? And top 5 up and comers (not battle rap) Content, delivery and the beat.
Since everyones been talking about your battles (rightfully so), talk a bit about your poker, what stakes do you play, what kind of ROI / hourly do you have, I currently play 10/20-25/50 PLO cash, and get extremely good results, how do you do, would you like to furthur discuss poker / have a player to discuss with? I primarily play 1-3 & 5-5 NLH cash & whenever a well structured tourney series comes to LA or Vegas I try to play a handful of events. I was a $20-40 limit prop for a few years then moved on to playing on my own time and since then have had great cash results along with about 100k in tourney cashes live & online. Interestingly a lot of top pros follow the battle scene as well and Ive become friends with some guys who I look up to as players and earn a lot from. Its pretty crazy.
Sounds ballin, did you play the WSOP this year? who are some of those guys, i could imagine galfond, laak, esfandiari probably? or am i way off. Yeah I played 4 events. ive played the main event the last 4 years as well. Jeff Madsen is a homie of mine. Negraneau is a fan, a ton of online pros as well.
Earn or learn? Lol i meant learn but both i guess.
In your honest opinion who is the top battle MC in the world at this very moment? Not just KOTD but across all leagues. Tough call. I prefer Aye Verb but I feel JC is on his way there and Id put Real Deal in that class as well based on consistency and how well written & executed everything tey do is.
What happened to your battle with rone? did that good stuff get postponed? It was cancelled, i believe for budgetary reasons. Hopefully will get booked elsewhere or even thru them in the future.
What are your thoughts on the whole Diz/Caustic/Arcane situation? Do you think there should be a rematch? I wouldnt mind seeing Caustic battle Arcane. A Diz rematch vs Arcane would be interesting too tho in all honesty Charron deserves the next title shot no matter who has the chain.
What battlers music is the best in your opinion? Only One & illmac in my opinion make the best music or at least I listen to theirs the most.
Whatever happened to Bo-Rat?? how come he doesn't battle anymore? i remember you guys had a couple classics back in the scribble days. I kick it with Bo regularly. He lives here in LA and dropped an album a few months ago called Bo Knows Rap. He just got over the battle shit eventually like a lot of battlers did.
Would you ever go and battle on GTN? I would. For 10k.
Your 2 on 2 vs Po and Diaz, anything you'd like to change about that battle. Id like to change... THE OUTCOME.
I follow you on twitter, and see your a poker fanatic, any tips when playing with buddies? Play aggressive, stay relentless. but dont overcommit w/ big raises. Just small ball their life away.
Is singing something that comes naturally or can I improve my vocals without auto tune? Singing can be taught. Autotune wont teach you how, itll just clean things up a little.
I'm English and a massive fan of Don't Flop, (obviously) King Of The Dot, URL, Basementality, etc. and you are the reason i got into battle rap. Must have been a while back but I saw one of your battles and was immediately hooked on written battles. Anyway I have 2 questions -What is you favourite league to battle in and why? -If you could battle any UK rapper from Don't Flop, who you haven't battled already who would it be and why? I still think KOTD is my favorite league to battle in but DF is very close. There are both pretty even honestly. Toronto is one of my favorite cities in the world and they always show me love. And the DF crowd is currently the mot passionate in the world, they are incredible. I have a new DF opponent locked in, youll find out who it is soon!
Is it an English rapper cause there's a long list of guys I wanna see you face In DF, what would be your top pick to battle from these guys? Arkaic YouthOracle Dialect Mr 13 Bamalam Eurgh (again) It is an English rapper.
How do you feel against battling Loonie, How would you prepare for him when most of his battles are in Tagalog? Also, what is you're favorite poker game specifically (NL/ Pot Limit Hold Em'/ Omaha?) I feel great about the battle. Im not doing anything particularly different to prepare. I dont really even watch my opponents battles before I get ready. iw atch other performances that hype me up.
I prefer NLH, Razz and Omaha 8 O/B.
When was the worst time that an opponent of yours humiliated themself? also curious how frequent intergender rap battles happen, i never see them. Thats kind of a tough one, I dunno that ive had an opponent humiliate themselves too badly. Maybe the way Diaz acted after the shove hahaha but we're all good now so I dunno if that even counts.
Intergender battles happen rarely. I believe Ness Lee vs Bonnie Godiva is happening in Sept on iBattle.
Is there any connection or skill parallel between rap battling and playing poker professionally? I guess its made it easier to figure out what approach people are gonna take against me and thus how to dissect that or at least try. And my memory, which is used in different ways for each but still used a lot in both.
Sup saurus... What do u think of Im down w rmbva. Foreman is the homie, has been for a long time. Shoutout to RMBVA.
Also, any advice for an aspiring alternative rapper? Practice relentlessly. And listen to constructive criticism with an open mind.
As a battle legend you've lived through Battle Rap's transition from more freestyle-over-instrumental oriented battles to more theatrical and rehearsed monologue oriented battles. You've managed to make your lane in both of these forms of battle rap. How do you feel about the transition and which was more enjoyable for you? I will always enjoy the freestyle format more than anything because there was just a different feel to it. I still love the direction battling is taking and I understand completely because there simply arent enough good freestylers to keep everyone entertained for the longevity of the artform.
You've said you can write down your lyrics once and they're basically committed to memory? Would you say you have a photographic memory? How has your memory played a part in your life outside of rapping? By the time Im finished writing a verse its basically committed to memory. My memory is borderline photographic but not fully. I cant memorize phone books or anything. It definitely plays a part in poker, going thru hand histories with opponents & whatnot, it makes life easier in a few ways and allows me to cut some corners on tedious things.
Also, who are the 5 dudes in the world that you think may have a chance of beating you in a pure freestyle battle? Is there anyone that you consider better than yourself? I'll be honest - I dont think there are 5 people who can beat me in a freestyle battle. Charron & NoCanDo would have the best chance of anyone and Ive beaten them both. There was a point where Hollow freestyled avidly but I dont think he does as much now. But realistically thats about it I consider plenty of people better than me at battling especially in the written format. I have no need to tell them who they are tho cause they could be potential opponents so fuck them.
What are your goals in terms of making music? How much harder is it for you to write songs vs. writing for opponents, and why? Waiting for your next album to drop!! Ultimately the goal is to make music that people can universally appreciate on some level. I wouldnt necessarily say that song writing is harder than battle writing but the process is different. The song writing process is more relaxing & therapeutic whereas prepping for a battle is a very aggressive and energetic process, motion creates emotion so to speak. New album coming soon!
Yo TheSaurus! In your opinion, what's the best flip/rebuttal you've ever done? my favourite is your "I fathered this whole scene!" line, I forget who you were up against though. Do you know how much this shit is worth in middle earth?
Is freestyling a skill that needs to be continually honed and worked on, or is it once you've got it, you've got it for good? You definitely have to continue to freestyle to stay good & sharp but other things definitely factor in like state of mind and being well rested and clear headed.
Like, if Justice competed in a freestyle tourney tomorrow, would he still be able to kill cats? Or is the sword not sharp enough? Justice is still a dope rapper in general and Im sure he still thinks of good battle lines on his own. He could come back and do well but I doubt he would do so without testing the waters first.
Long time fan, Ive got three questions for you. And lastly, Soul Khan quit battle rap to focus on his music, he stated you cant do both and have a successful music career, do you agree? I can see his point and I agree to an extent. To have a full on music career you have to put all of your time into touring & promoting yourself as that kind of artist.
How do feel about what some people are calling the demise of Grindtime? A lot of Grindtime artists have moved on to KOTD, how do you feel about league loyalty? I feel like Grindtime's falloff was inevitable because there were too many people running the show and all of them had their own ideas & input but one league can only be pulled in so many directions before it breaks.
Any comments on the changing demographics in battle rap? It has its pros and cons as anything does. Im in full favor of new fans at all times but of course there are gonna be ones that rub people the wrong way haha.
Where do you see this whole battle rap thing goin in the next 5 years Peter? Thanks butt. Well my dominican friend, I think that making it to the mainstream is the next step. With Bow Wow bringing URL over to Freestyle Friday on BET and Nick Cannon bringing Conceited onto Wildin Out they are taking huge steps in integrating battling into mainstream hiphop culture as opposed to a smaller sub culture.
What percentage of your bars that you write for any particular battle would you say end up in your final verse? (How much you throw away/keep) I probably use about 75% of the material I actually wrie. tons of throwaway bars/ideas that dont make the cut.
Whats the best piece of advice you've ever received? Great AMA, you sound like a genuine dude and your battles are always fire. The best advice I ever got was from my mom - As long as you do something that you love for a living you'll never work a day in your life.
Any further talks yet to get you on that URL stage?? We gon see, we gon see.
Thanks for doing this pete! Been watching since wrc, you and illmac started this for me. My question is as follows... Why can someone like dumb, the Palmer squares, and fabolous make multies sound so clean and natural. Where as hopsin and 100 bulletz make them sound awful and forced? I dont know how to really answer the first question because everyone just processes things differently.
Also, when will we.see frees over beats again? I dunno if freestyle battling over beats will ever make a comeback but one can hope.
How do you prepare for a battle? Not so much how do you prepare your bars, but on the day of the battle how do you get in that "I'm the baddest motherfucker alive and everything I say for the next 3 rounds is gonna be fire" head space? Or is confidence just something that comes to you naturally? Cheers, been a big fan since WRC! I watch Aye Verb's 3rd round vs Hitman Holla. I do a lot of pacing around pre-battle and i generally shut the rest of the world out.
The battle scene has seen a lot of changes since 2006 and even the earlier days of Scribble Jam. Yet you've managed to stay near the top all that time. What's next for battle rap? I think the next step is taking battling to the mainstream, which it seems to be doing with URL linking up w BET and with Wildin Out having Conceited on there now. Its only a matter of time before it goes bigger than that.
What battle did you have the most fun writing for? I had a lot of fun writing for DNA. And Ness Lee.
What was your favorite bascheme/round used against you in any battle. Pat Stay's 3rd round is the most entertained I think Ive been by an opponent against me.
In that 2 on 2 in canada where you almost punched a guy, what had you so heated? Rich mentioning my father and then the fact that we told Diaz to stop talking 4 times during our round.
Will you be more inclined to attend Battle of the Zae 2 if there is a make-shift Texas Hold Em setup behind the venue? Nope. Id go to Bay 101 after either way.
Big Fan Thesaurus, been following you and KOTD/URL/GT since you and Arcane battled at WD1. My question is what do you think the best line anyone has ever used against you? Thanks man, and body Loonie for all of us. Wow. that is really tough. illmac's "Actin like a lil bitch right now" was fucking amazing. Lets go with that for now.
Hey, would you ever consider doing a show in Syracuse, New York or something? I'd totally see that. Id consider doing any show as long as the booking was done properly and everything.
Are there any rappers who you have a dislike towards? Like, you can't respect. I honestly get along with just about everyone in the battle scene. There's no one I have beef with or ill feelings towards or any shit like that. I think theres already a built in mutual respect among most battlers just for the fact that we're willing to step in the ring. But Im friends with a ton of these cats outside of battling too and i just generally get along with people pretty well.
EDIT: One last question. How do I develop my flow so words flow nicely and I don't have to have them on top of each other? As far as developing flow that just comes with practice and comfortability.
Have there been any incidents with lines being too personal? I saw that you mentioned Rich, and I don't know who that is. What would I search on YouTube to find that battle? PoRich & Diaz vs The Saurus & illmaculate.
If you could go back and do it again, what would you do differently in the PoRich/Diaz battle? The shove clearly hurt, but i feel like you and iLLmac were off that night as well. I honestly wouldnt do too many things differently. Maybe prep for an extra day. But I dont feel like they beat us regardless.
Last updated: 2013-08-10 18:54 UTC
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